After about half a month of swelling on my cheeks had gone down and the yellowish bruises disappeared. The sunlight became stronger, the temperature rose, and more greenery grew in the garden.
My way of doing things didnât go as Claude feared it would and was generally going well.
Orpheus was puzzled that his wife was following him like a fly. He would frown when I touched his body, and his handsome face would cloud over every time he heard vulgar and worthless scandals.
I donât know if he disliked women who flirted with him because they were blinded by his beauty like I had heard in the gambling house, but at least he didnât like my coquetry approach.
If I hadnât been a woman, if I hadnât been his wife, and if he hadnât sympathised with me, âââ he would probably refuse me with a colder and scornful expression, or he would ignore my presence as if I werenât even there.
However, Orpheus didnât do that.
I repeatedly invited him to tea and on walks as if I was sneering at him, and even though he refused so much, I had dinner with him, and sat in the study and made him let me help him with work.
I saw him off when he went out and quickly rushed to greet him when he returned. I followed him to his room and kicked out the servants who were trying to help him change and helped him change myself.
Orpheus probably thought of me as a nuisance.
His wife, who he didnât want to see, continued to pursue him, and she would meddle in things she didnât need to.
âThatâs enough,â he was probably fed up with it a lot.
âââ But, itâs still not enough.
Orpheus endured.
He was patient.
I still havenât done enough.
I donât feel like Iâm going too far, and I feel sorry for Orpheusâs mentality, but Iâm going to continue this silly interaction forever until he raises his voice and talks about divorce.
I saw Orpheus off to work as he went to the town hall and walked down the corridor on the first floor that leads to the servantsâ workplace, then I suddenly heard pleasant laughter from out of nowhere.
The laughter came from the kitchen where the door was opened, and when I peeked inside, I saw four servants gathered together and chatting noisily.
I thought they were working, but only the large chef and a young maid were moving their hands, the other girls were probably having lunch since they were standing around eating bread that was stuffed with fillings.
âI think the place where your sister works is normalâŠâ The oldest maid had already finished her lunch, and she said this while drinking tea.
âSheâs no match for our Madam. Iâve worked at many mansions, and I know that every noble is selfish and does what they want, but Iâve never met anyone as horrible as her.â
I quickly retracted my face from the door and put my ears against the wall next to the entrance.
âWhy did Master marry such a woman? I wish he had married Diana-sama instead of selling favour to a countryside noble. They would have had a child right away and would be able to live happily by now.â
âAll the servants were against it. I canât believe that he would choose that lady and deny his relationship with Diana-sama. I think itâs fine even if sheâs blind and has lost her parents as long as thereâs love.â
âI think so too. Do nobles care about appearances that much?â
âI wonder. If he cared about appearances, then I think he would have divorced Madam a long time ago and kicked her out.â
âHmm. What is Master thinking? I donât understand him at all.â
The servants donât know the real reason why Orpheus didnât choose Diana.
They gossip that it would look bad if he married Diana, who was blind and had no family to back her up, so he lent money to Marquis Lagerfeld and received his daughter in return.
It was such a funny reason because even if the husband keeps his lover by his side, the wife canât complain since her position is weak.
Even though Orpheus didnât do such a thing, the servants, who supported Dianaâs relationship with him, probably couldnât help but get angry and blame him.
Furthermore, the bride, who he had brought with money, had suddenly changed within half a year. She became a selfish and prideful woman, so I can understand why they want to complain.
âBut sheâll be going back to her parentâs home soon, right?â A clear voice, probably from the young maid who was moving her hand, said.
I was so surprised that I almost jumped, and I held my chest to calm my beating heart.
âI heard that Madamâs father came to bring her home a while ago.â
I was so nervous that I gulped and almost collapsed when I heard this.
Hope sprung from my chest because Orpheus might finally divorce me at last, but this was merely gossip since it was coming from the mouth of the maids.
âUnfortunately, it doesnât seem like heâll divorce her. After all, heâs having the Marquis cut off any relations he has with Madam in exchange for not paying back the money that Master has loaned him. Master really has brought Madam with money.â
âHuh? Really?â
âRita, you didnât know this?â
âNope, I didnât. I thought Madam was getting along well with Master because she didnât want to get divorced.â
âOh, that.â
I didnât just hear one sigh, but many.
The servants also seemed to have noticed the peculiarities in my recent behaviour.
âBut, wouldnât the reason be something like that? If she gets kicked out, then she wouldnât have anywhere to go, right? Her lover is a painter who is living in a rented apartment, and he canât keep his livelihood if he doesnât have Madamâs support. Sheâs supporting him with masterâs money, isnât she? She wonât be able to live in luxury, and sheâll be troubled if she gets kicked out, so sheâs trying to win masterâs favour.â
Iâm flirting with him because I donât want to be kicked out, thatâs what they think⊠I see. So, it could be interpreted like that.
Orpheus might also believe this, and thatâs why heâs so confused.
âItâs her own fault, isnât it? She should have just behaved like a good wife from the start.â
âShe did behave herself at first, but she couldnât keep it up for more than six months.â
âI feel sorry for Claire and Renee. Theyâre always having such a horrible time.â
âClaire and Renee are good at putting up with her.â
I smiled when I heard the servants badmouth me.
Juris had found out that everything I had done had been an act, but the other servants still believe in my lies.
I was worried that my act wasnât enough, but I was worried for no reason.
And, Claire was still acting like a pitiful maid who was frightened of her selfish mistress.
I was satisfied that the Rosenstein House servants still hated me and released my back from the wall to return to my room.
Then, I heard footsteps approaching, so I quickly walked down the corridor.
The footsteps belonged to Juris and Elza, the head maid, and they were walking side by side as if they were blocking my way.
Judging from their expressions, they had seen that I was eavesdropping on the servants in the kitchen.
I made an effort to remain calm and walked past them from the side as they bowed and made way for me.
Their gazes that pierced at the back of my head stated that they wanted to say something to me, but I quickly went up the stairs and walked towards my room.
âMadam,â the voice came when I reached where the portraits of the Rosenstein family were displayed. I glanced at the beautiful woman with black hair who was the wife of one of the former heads of the family and turned around.
It was Juris who should have been with Elza. He stood there with a puzzled and troubled expression, just like the one Orpheus made when I flirted with him.
I was going to reply curtly like I usually do, but then I considered that he might have a reason to chase after me and stop me, so I looked around to confirm that no one was nearby.
âWhat is it?â
Juris averted his gaze awkwardly as he stood in front of me. He looked like he was hesitating, and then he finally spoke, âIâm sorry. Itâs all my fault that the servants arenât educated properly. We usually donât allow them to gossip during work hours, but⊠no, excuses arenât needed. Iâm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.â
I was surprised that he had chased after me just to say this.
Juris showed concern for me at random times ever since he confessed his feelings for Diana on that day.
He had remained silent even though he knew my real motives because of his feelings for Diana, and he might have regretted that he continued to act coldly towards me. I want him to remain the same cold Juris.
âAt least they should have closed the door. They probably left it open to let the cool wind in, but you never know who might be listening in. But I am relieved to hear that my acting is going well thanks to them.â
â⊠Has it been bothering you this whole time?â
Juris raised his face. He made sure no one was around again, and spoke, âYou still plan on continuing this. I thought you might have changed your mind when I saw you trying to get close to Orpheus-sama⊠but, youâre still going out like you used to, and Iâm curious about what your intentions are.â
âYouâve been watching me anxiously.â
âIâm sorry for doing something unscrupulous.â
âNo, itâs fine. As long as Orpheus doesnât notice you acting like this⊠Like you said, I still plan on continuing. But it seems like itâll take a lot of time with the way things were going, so I thought Iâll change my plans a little. Orpheus hates it when women flirt with him, right?â
âThatâs⊠Orpheus-sama certainly doesnât like women who make eyes at him⊠but, I donât think that applies to you, Madam.â
âHe seems really troubled, though.â
âTroubled⊠he might beâŠâ
Juris looked at the air, and then at me as if he was trying to read my expression.
âI wonder if itâs puzzled is the right word to use.â
âWhether to divorce me because heâs had enough of my selfishness or to obey his fatherâs last request. Is that what heâs puzzled over?â
âNo, thatâs not itâŠâ
Heâs being very inarticulate.
I tilted my head and waited for him to continue, but he continued to look around again, then he stared at a portrait.
That was a portrait of me which had been painted not long after I married into this house.
I was wearing a white dress wedding dress, and my hair was tied up and draped upon one side of my chest. I had a diamond ring on my left ring finger âââ it was the first ring that Orpheus had ever given me âââ, and I had a graceful smile on my face.
Juris cast his eyes down sadly at the horribly beautified portrait and whispered in a small voice that I could finally hear, âWonât you stop?â
âWhat?â I asked in return, and Juris looked up as if he had made a decision.
âOrpheus-samaâs will is firm. Stop behaving like this and tell him everything. Start over from the beginning.â
âââ Is he still saying this?
I swallowed the sigh that nearly escaped from my mouth and stared straight at Juris.
âThe people who will start over are not Orpheus and I, itâs Orpheus and Diana⊠Why did you say something like that? You want to make Diana happy, donât you?â
âWhat will happen to you if you keep on doing this?!â Juris screamed.
He was so loud that his voice echoed in the corridor.
âWhat will you do after you get divorced and kicked out from this mansion?! Are you going to the painter who you donât even love and live a poor life?!â
I was stunned that the cool butler had lost his composure and called out his name.
Juris came back to his senses and shut his mouth. Then, he took a few deep breaths and said, âIâm sorry.â
He continued to breathe in and out to control his emotions and clenched his fist tightly.
âYouâre already suffering so much. If you break up with the man you love so much that youâre willing to give up everything for him, and that man remarries another woman, then youâll be suffering even more.â
âââ No, I wonât. Orpheusâs happiness is my happiness.
Was what I thought, but I silently listened to Juris.
âYou donât need to be the scapegoat. You didnât do anything wrong. Weâre the ones to blame. Itâs Orpheusâs fault for not caring for you, and Dianaâs fault for staying in this mansion and saying unreasonable things, and my fault for using your feelings for my own selfish gains. Youâve been living a hard life until now. You should be happier than anyone else. And yetâŠâ
âYouâre wrong.â
I couldnât keep silent anymore and denied everything.
Heâs wrong.
Itâs not like that.
You guys did nothing wrong.
âItâs my fault. I fell in love with someone I shouldnât. I had already accepted that I would be a decorated wife and that we would live separate lives, but I fell in love with him. I dug my own grave. Stupidly so.â
âYou didnât do anything wrong. Orpheus loves you,â Juris said quietly.
He looked really lonely and sad.
âOrpheus doesnât love Diana. Orpheus loves you. He loves you. His way of showing his love is clumsy, and he makes a lot of mistakes, but he still loves you. He canât let you go no matter what.â
âYouâre lying.â
Orpheus loves Diana.
Only her.
I am the woman who he took in so that he could fulfil the previous headâs last request, and he only pities me.
He doesnât consider me as a friend or love me like family. He felt pity towards me since I was like him.
âJuris, youâre like Orpheus. You pity me. Pity, and in your case, guilt as well? You pity me, and your conscience is pricking at you, thatâs why youâre trying to make me stop.â
âYouâre wrong. Itâs not like that. Orpheus really loves youâŠâ
âHe doesnât love me.â
Juris tried to persuade me in a silly way, and I glared at him with hatred.
âThat man doesnât love me. He smiles so gently in front of Diana, but he doesnât do the same when heâs in front of me. He always looks at me with cold eyes. Itâs always been this way ever since we first met.â
âYouâre misunderstanding things greatly. Heâs not looking at you with cold eyes. Itâs not that simple, his gaze is more intense and full of yearningâŠâ
âHeâs never said, âI love youâ.â As soon as I finished saying that, pain rushed through my body as if I was being slashed by a sharp blade, and I let out a low groan.
âââ Would you believe him if he told you he loved you?
I shook my head and denied it.
Iâve already seen that smile, so I wouldnât believe him no matter how much he declares his love.
The smile he had directed at Diana told me everything that was in his heart.
âThis is pointless. This conversation is pointless,â I said to end this conversation.
âIâve heard enough. Juris, I donât want anything from you anymore. I wonât even ask you to help me. Just shut up and watch.â
âOphelia-sama, youâŠâ
âYou donât have to worry about me either. You only have to think about Dianaâs happiness as you have been⊠I wonât allow you to use my feelings and give up halfway.â
Juris turned pale at the words which almost sounded like a curse. He tightened his trembling lips and looked down.
I turned around in silence and never looked back.
When I returned to my room, I opened the closet and looked for my jewellery box.
That man⊠I started selling my dresses and jewellery little by little to turn them into money from the day my father visited. My closet, which had been filled to the brim with barely any space left over until a month ago, was much cleaner now.
I told Renee that I was selling the dresses I didnât need to buy new ones, but even if my jewellery increased, my dresses hadnât, so she might be getting suspicious soon.
I found the jewellery box straight away.
I opened the lid, which was delicately crafted from nocturnal luminescence, and jewellery of various colours such as red, blue, green and purple, shone when the light hit them.
I took out a small diamond ring out from the box and quietly closed the lid.
I felt nostalgic when I saw my own portrait and wanted to wear it for the first time in a long time.
I placed the ring on my left ring finger and stared as it glistened silver in the sunlight.
ăDo you like it?ă
ăYes, very much! Itâs a waste on someone like me.ă
ăThatâs not true. It suits you very much.ă
The first ring that my beloved gave me glistened like that time.
Iâm sure itâll continue to remain beautiful in the future.
It wonât fade like the memories I had back then and would continue to shine forever.
âI love you.â
âââ Iâll love you forever.
I rubbed the cold gem and smiled as if Orpheus was in front of me.
âItâs fine as long as youâre happy. Your happiness is my happiness.â
I repeated this many times to myself.
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I closed my eyes and imagined Orpheusâs smile.
âââ Itâs okay. Iâm sure Iâll be fine.
I remembered the feeling of Orpheusâs hand as he gently took my hand as if he was touching something important and placed the ring on it.
Even if I sell all my other dresses and jewellery, Iâll keep this ring.