/
Blissful Unawareness
Translated by boilpoil
Edited by boilpoil
In this Nightmare, ‘forgetting’ itself is a random occurrence.
No one knows when it happens, to whom it happens, to which memory it happens… It’s entirely luck-based.
Or, at least, Baldie and Biceps, who’ve been here before, have not figured out the process of how amnesia happens in this Nightmare at all.
Because, it leaves you with a foolproof rationalisation!
Cue Wu Jian, who lost the memory of all of them having been to the Treasure Trove, which doesn’t seem odd for him at all.
Even with that part of the memory missing, he can still remember starting from the beginning, splitting into three, and going through the south with Fei, and meeting a strange survivor, before meeting with the other Missiontakers at the building, seeing someone pushed off of it, and then talking with the bookstore owner…
Yes. That is all they did in the past hour according to his memories.
Treasure Trove? Food? He doesn’t remember any of it.
They headed directly to the building to meet up, didn’t they?
After figuring out exactly what Wu Jian’s memories are, Fei is knitting her brows with her hand.
She has realised a terrible truth——If this amnesia in the Nightmare does not occur jarringly, and they cannot notice it consciously, then perhaps, they might have all lost memories while unaware?
This causes additional burden for communication – cue Wu Jian again, who is looking positively mystified. He would probably even be annoyed at them at this point if not for Fei’s trustworthiness and position in his mind.
He really cannot feel anything wrong with his memories——Memory loss? What are you talking about?
This blissful unawareness that he is displaying, completely trusting of his own memories, is making Fei fearful.
If this amnesia is random, then as the Nightmare develops, and all the information they’ve gathered slip out of their minds over time, then every Missiontaker only has incomplete, unequal hold over information. They might even all forget the same crucial information as well…
This will only lead to doubts and suspicions. The chaos ensuing will guarantee that they can no longer dedicate their full attention to the Nightmare. Instead, they will only be clawing for their missing memories in futility.
… Fei already knew that something would go wrong with their memories in this Nightmare, but she wasn’t expecting something as dire as this.
She sighs wearily, and says, “let’s first head for the amusement park. We can also confirm what we remember with each other along the way…”
That is when Collector suddenly interrupts her, asking, “since this is how it is already, why not first let us question our——pioneers. The last time you were in this Nightmare, did this happen to you? If so, why didn’t you say anything?”
Biceps opens his mouth to explain, but Baldie just coldly answers before he does, “I have no obligation to tell you anything, have I?” His gaze sweeps across all the Missiontakers present, and then smiles smugly, going, “besides, nothing was going to change even if we did tell you. You’ll know it yourself when it starts happening anyway.”
Fei, irritated, says, “stop fighting——Alright, kids?”
Collector and Baldie both shoot her unfriendly looks at once.
Fei bites her lips and just says with this slightly muffled tone, “you’re men. Start acting like one, ok?”
No replies there.
Mu Jiashi, hovering outside of the conflict the whole time thinking, asks, “perhaps we could try something else too?”
“What is it?”
Mu Jiashi says, pointing towards Collector, “he and I went along the way south when we were steering clear of the amusement park. When we passed through a grocer’s, we found some pens inside…”
Fei already understands what he is getting at, her expression brightens.
Before she could say anything though, Collector looks completely shocked, yelling, “what?! Since when did we visit some grocer’s?”
Mu Jiashi gives him a look, and tells him without so much as raising his eyebrows, “you can go through your pockets. I handed you half a sausage we found when we were there.”
Collector really puts his hands in his pockets at that, and retrieves half of a sausage. He stares at it, with ‘where the hell did this come from’ written all over his face.
Collector’s expression returns to normal soon enough, though, and smiles, commenting, “oh my, how interesting…” Then he starts chomping on the sausage, slowly devouring it and keeps murmuring, “really interesting…”
Memories… He mutters inside.
Fei retracts her gaze from him and says, “let’s get some food first. We’ll go to the amusement park five minutes later.”
They disperse.
Fei and Wu Jian are now somewhere some distance away from the rest of the Missiontakers.
Wu Jian looks pretty bitter when he asks, “did I really forget…? That makes no sense. I really don’t feel like anything is wrong with my memories. I can’t even tell you when I forgot.”
Fei says with a straight enough face, “focus on food. And you know, human brains are mysterious constructs.”
Wu Jian’s eyes widen, though. He is hesitant, but still asks, “are you saying…” he is also gulping and darting his gaze about him, as if checking to see if anything is listening in on him, before quietly mumbling, “this has to do with how we ended up in the Tower?”
Fei merely gives him a silent gaze for a while before saying, “I’m saying, your tummy rumbling is already annoying my ears.”
Wu Jian “…”
Awkwardly smiling, he quickly goes looking for food.
And so does Fei. She flips some rubble over, and finds a small bag of biscuits. She opens it up to eat, but while eating, she couldn’t help but focus her mind on what Wu Jian just said.
The question of how they entered the Tower.
… Nobody could remember at all. It is like some sort of mysterious, inexplicable mass amnesia.
Some Missiontakers would just leave it at that. They’re already in the Tower now, so they should just focus on dealing with the present instead.
Some Missiontakers would rather not think about the implications. They don’t dare. Amnesia, for them, is a small price for a peace of mind from what must have been some terrifying incident.
There are also Missiontakers who suggest that it would be weirder if they didn’t lose their memories – picture this, some kind of entity behind all of this, who could move all the humans into some kind of game without any of them knowing. Is it even possible that entity wouldn’t have also tweaked their memories along the way?
And finally, there are even Missiontakers who merely adopt an agnostic stance. The truth is unknowable, so they should just give up.
But Fei and Wu Jian, and the other Missiontakers like them, who wish to know the truth, is definitely unable to give up.
Why did they lose their memories? Why did they end up in the Tower? Why are they endlessly repeating the process of Nightmares and dying in this dark, depressing place?
Fei finishes the last biscuits and then pats her hands together.
Then she grips her fists, and thinks, despising those Missiontakers——those cowards. Those cowards, who cannot bring themselves to face the ruth, and would much rather bury their heads in the sand and behave like braindead dumbasses.
She is not like them.
She will go after the truth no matter the cost. If she cannot know the truth, then, she will never be able to rest in peace.
Fei closes her eyes, and makes a long sigh. Then, noticing the time, she goes to meet up with the other Missiontakers.
As Mu Jiashi suggested, they first head for the small grocery store for the pen.
They are going to write down the clues they have already got, so that the information is not lost.
Though Biceps is glancing over at his brother Baldie, who is remaining silent, and so he can only stand and watch the Missiontakers doing their work in silence himself, though he is muttering inside – this is useless…
They found the pens, but they have no paper, even after thoroughly searching through the small store and wasting a lot of time. Fei had to call it off in the end to say, “let’s go to the amusement park first. We’ll leave finding something to write on for later.”
So they start heading back north from the south towards the amusement park.