People do name me together with mine own brothers Hades and Poseidon the Three Realm Deities, but I reign supreme over the two of those folk.
For I am, in fact, the god of the sky who dost rule the highest territory in this world!
āIt is nary but a realm up above surrounded with nothing but cloudsā¦ā
Oh, I didst not know thee were here, Hermes.
āYep, itās me, Hermes. One of the many children thee hast sired from the partners thee hast been sleeping with.ā
Thatāsā¦quite the suggestive way to phrase it.
Nay matter.
It is precisely because Iām the greatest in this world that I am well-loved by everybody!
Enough of that, let it be, is there something thee seeks, Hermes?
Iām busy, as thee can witness. I havenāt such time to spare listening to tush tush.
āYou descry amply free to me. I, an emissary and messenger of the gods, hast come to call, so of course thereās something important I shall report.ā
Is such so?
Well, alloweth me to hear this important message of yours. If āt be true I deem it frivolous, I shall amerce thou by molding you into a biddy laying eggs!
āThe human race thee did create hast been defeated.ā
Yup! Itās not important at all!
Too bad for thee, Hermes!
For the next three days, not only shall thou suffer from constipation, but thee shall meekly imitate a biddy laying eggsā¦
ā¦
Sayeth what?!
āCock-a-doodle-doo! Cock-a-doodle-do!ā
Thou dunce! This isnāt the time to mimic a biddy!
Itās a shockingly grave matter!
Thee hath said the race I did create hast been defeated?
Tush tush!
Those gents hadst a mission to gain dominion oāre the earth as mine own minions!
āThe earth hast always been Uncle Hadesā territory to begin with. The demon race did win the territorial war as the rightful inhabitantsā¦ Well, just as those gents should have.ā
Forsooth?!
Mine own race shouldāve prevailed instead, especially since those gents hast mine own support!
āJust to reiterate, wasnāt it thy race who did make the first move and invaded Uncle Hadesā territory? Nonetheless, it doth seem the victorious demon race hath chosen to endow mercy and does treat those folk as compatriots instead of purging them from the earth. Uncle Hadesā adherents art kind, after all.ā
Thou believeth I care a wit about such?
Mine own race assuredly is hilding. Those gents shouldāve just combated till the bitter end and kicked the bucket with a noble, honorable death if āt be true they art to be defeated and eliminated.
āHow overdramatic. Wherefore not thee just sendeth those folk help presently?ā
What? I think not.
Why should I wend a path out of mine own way to help those folk?
Besides, age upon age ago, I still was so psyched up about everything upon the world that I was generous with mine own blessings to the human race, disrupting the balances of the world and causing a lot of vexation to everyone.
Even Hades and Poseidon did tell me to never do such again, so I shall not.
āYou ceased because thou did get scolded? Thee hast the mentality of a weak person for someone so āwondrous.āā
I care not!
Iām the noblest god in the world, so Iām not used to being scolded!
ā¦Besides, isnāt it kind of weird?
Wasnāt the war between the demon and human races in a deadlock for thousands of years?
But then the demons suddenly emerged victorious.
Doesnāt such a situation strike thee as odd?
Doth thou think Hades hast supported his own race underhandedly?
āHeās not liketh theeā¦ā
Nay, Iām sure that gent didst something!
I hath decided thusly that gent didst, so that gent didst!
āTell thee what. If āt be true thee tries to wage war āgainst the other gods based on some false accusation, I, and the rest of the celestial gods shall turneth āgainst thee.ā
Huh?
But why?!
āItās because thou art not popular. We wonāt place our life on the line to kick the bucket upon the battlefield with thee.ā
How dareth thou! Thou art supposed to be mine own son!
Fine! At least alloweth me to grumble about how Hades cheated to alloweth his race to win!
Hades is a cheat! A cheat! A cheat, cheat, cheat!
ā¦Hold, happily if āt be true should I complain to Hades, that gent shall show kindness enough to giveth us a part of the earth! Iāll appeal to that gent by using the area of the humans that gent did fail to claim as an excuse! Yeah, letās advance with that! Time to wend our way to Hadesā lodging!
Adieu!
I am Hermes, a god of wisdom residing in the celestial realm.
I sighed deeply after sending off mine own shameful father only but now.
Wherefore is someone like that gent the godhead of the skies?
Alas, thereās naught a use in deploring now.
As the god of wisdom, I can leverage one of mine own abilities, telekinesis, to communicate with people at a distanceā¦
ā¦Holla, Uncle Hades?
Aye, itās me, Hermes.
Just now, mine own buffoon of a father hast gone to thy lodging to grumble, so prithee discreetly sendeth that gent hence.
I hasāt not spake to that gent of the recent cierr, of course, prithee keep in mind of it as well and donāt allow such to slip.
Goodbye.
Being the god of knowledge, wisdom, and ingenuity, I doth know a lot of things.
So, of course, I knoweth whyfore the human race was defeated by the demon race.
The answerā¦ lies in a certain sojourner from another world.
Zeus, mine own foolish fusty father, hast this annoying thaumaturgic spell that summons inhabitants from another world to this one without any warning whatsoever.
āHe,ā one of the many victims, hath taken a gift from mine own brother Hephaestus and exerted his influence by putting an end to the war between the demon and human races.
I wonder how the fusty man shall feel if āt be true that gent finds out that the son that one did shun because of his unsightly looks is the same person whose gift shattered his own ambitions?
As much as it does make me curious, I wonāt tell that gent.
Iām certain nothing valorous shall cometh from him knowing about the otherworlderās existence, or shouldst I say āsaint,ā as others doth name him.
Especially since Uncle Poseidon and Hades hath asked me to keep it a secret.
Thus I, Hermes, shall vouchsafe this information shall never reach that fusty manās ears.
For the rest of us gods in the sky, the settlement of the war on earth heralds peace.
And as gods, itās our rightful duty to protect the peace of the saint, as well as mine own revered brother Hephaestus who hast made such a time possible.