âNiangniang has a cold naturally weak body, but there have been no major ups and downs in her emotions. This time she fainted because of agitation. Chen kui will prescribe some medicine to nurture Niangniangâs bodyâŠâ
Jiang Chuwei woke up to the voice of the doctor. She didnât open her eyes but lay quietly in her bed. Even when the doctor left she still remained silent. She knew he was still there.
âAre you calmer?â Xiahou Yin asked. He was standing by the bed and knew she was awake.
She did not reply him. Her eyes remained closed, she did not want to look at him.
She had calmed down. After her temper, her strength was gone, but that did not mean she had forgiven him. The fact that he hid it from her, and his self-righteousness after she confronted him still made her angry. She was not Su Xiurong, she could not be obedient.
She had never thought of having children for him. She had never thought she would stay in this palace for the rest of her life. Even if the body was Xiurong, she could not live on her behalf.
Besides, thinking about staying with him for a lifetime, relying on his favour, she could not make herself do this.
In the face of her indifference, Xiahou was also cold. How could he now know what she was thinking? She had never intended to stay with him. (Zuben: Why this is surprising I do not know)
For her, this palace was just a transitional place. She would leave sooner or later, without looking back. And of course, she had no intention of having children for him. (Zuben: Isnât something you discuss with the woman who you know isnât the person you married anymore?)
But how could he possibly allow her to do this? The more she wanted to leave, the less he wanted her to go. Seeing her resist him, there was a rising wave of tightness in his chest.
Did she really hate him so much?
Where wasnât he good to her? He spoiled her and indulged her arrogance, he tolerated her wayward temper, sent her the best presents; he had never been this way with another woman.
But she remained so disdainful. But this Emperorâs tolerance has reached its limit. He would not indulge her anymore.
âEven if you donât want to be Su Xiurong, you canât change the fact that you are,â even if she doesnât want to be Xiurong,
âYour body is Su Xiurong, all the glory and wealth you have belongs to her!â Xiahou said with a sneer and he laughed coldly, âJiang Chuwei, you keep saying you are not suitable to be Xiurong, but you are enjoying her life in her heart. Donât you think that your high and mighty statement is ridiculous?â
Chuwei froze, she could not refute his words. It was a fact. She sat up and did not avoid his cold gaze, âThen I refuse to be Su Xiurong, will you let me go now?â
âAnd how do you want to do that? Can your soul leave? Can Xiurong live again?â Would he allow her the opportunity?
âSince Xiurong could die once, why canât she die again?â Chuwei replied. As long as Su Xiurong died, she can live the palace, âXiahou, let me leave.â
As long as he was willing, he could end the life of Su Xiurong and let her secretly leave.
âWhy not? Why donât you want me to leave?â Chuwei asked. She did not understand why he didnât want to let her go. Why he was insistent on her staying?
Was it necessary for Xiurong to be the one to have a child for him? There were so many women in the harem, each one of them willing.
Why didnât he want her to leave? Xiahou also wanted to know. This woman who angered him so much? To let her go, he was unwilling.
She has messed with him, now she wants to walk away? Why was he the only one affected, but she cared for nothing?
When all was said, he still could not let her go at this moment.
âI wonât let you leave with my child.â She was over a month pregnant.
Chuwei stared at him with wide eyed shock. She subconsciously touched her abdomen, âWhat are you talking about?â A child? She-she wasâŠ?
She had thought that she hadnât had her menses for a long while, but Xiurong had irregular periods, so she did not worry about it. She did not expect to be pregnant.
âThe imperial doctor said, youâre weak and your strength needs to be nursed. He will prescribe a tonic for you. For the sake of the child, you areâŠâ
âNoâŠâ Chuwei cried in a panic. She didnât want to listen. She was panicking, âI donât want this child. I donât want it.â
She looked up at him, âXiahou, I donât want this child.â
Xiahou was instantly ashen, he grabbed her wrist and held her tightly, his voice was cold, âYou donât want to give birth then you want to be rid of it?â
âGet ridâŠâshe whispered. His agitated expression calmed and his face became impassive, not giving her a chance to speak her said,
âJiang Chuwei! Donât you dare think about it!â
She really wanted to kill his child. This damned woman really had this thought? His large hand holding her wrist tightened so much like he wanted to crush her.
Chuwei did not speak; she knew she had angered him, but in the face of his toughness she did not want to show weakness.
Why was he to fierce to her? She was always open to persuasion not coercion, and besides, wasnât this all his fault? He knew perfectly well that she never wanted to have a baby.
Thousands of mistakes are his entire fault! (Zuben: It takes two to tango, dear)
Fear, panic and anger crowded her heart obscuring her reason. His overbearing manner caused her to explode.
She glared at him and shouted indisputably, âIf I want to, what can you do about it? Xiahou, you cannot stop me!â
âIs that so?â he retorted seeing her still confident. He gave her a cold smile. His expression was so cold it made her want to physically tremble, âThen letâs try it.â
 â
Chuwei was beaten into a cold palace. To be exact, it should be imprisoned in the cold palace. Xia Xi and Chun Xi were replaced with an old woman and guards everywhere. She could only go between her room and the garden.
Chuwei was angry of course; why was this bastard doing this to her?
But even with her anger, she knew she could not change the facts. How did she forget that the guy was the Emperor! After she was dragged to the cold palace, she thought of this baldly.
He is the Emperor.
The Emperor who had the power to kill can of course, shut her up. What was she? Just a ghost invading the Queenâs body. She was ashamed of herself for enjoying Xiurongâs identity, being pampered in the palace, but did not know how to be grateful and angered the Emperor. In the end, it will end. (Zuben: He still shouldnât have gotten you preggers without at least confirming mutual love)
Touching her five month old belly, she sighed heavily.
She had lived in this place for four months; of course, she did not get rid of the baby. She had been scared at the time and angry, so she lashed out.
In fact, she was the most reluctant to get rid of her child.
Her heart was not so ruthless. After she calmed down, she regretted her words. No wonder Xiahou went crazy.
Her temper was like this; it was natural to want to be persuaded not coerced. If Xiahou had not been so aggressive, she wouldnât have been the same.
To be perfectly blunt, he had spoiled her.
More than that, his attitude and the way he looked at her made her afraid. She was not an idiot; she had sensed the change between them.
After having a physical relationship, they had become intimate. Although it was only a physical relationship; just frolicking in the bedroom. This was not a big deal in modern times. But they began to get along, he was good to her. She wasnât unfeeling; no matter how arrogant she was, when she lost her temper - he would remain tolerant of her.
Sometimes, she deliberately pushed, testing his limits, wanting to know where he would stop indulging her. Perhaps this quarrel was her subconscious deliberately subverting things.
In the end, this was the outcome.
After all, he was the Emperor. How could he endure someone who disobeyed him? Especially a woman. According to his identity, he would not want a disobedient kind of woman. The harem was filled with crickets waiting for him to bestow his favour upon them. Like gentle Qing Fei, they are eager to win his favour. Because being left out was lonely.
But for her, it was impossible to let herself live this kind of life - sharing a man with a group of women. If she was born and raised in this dynasty, she would think of it as a privilege, but she was not, hence, she did not.
It was impossible for her to tolerate sharing a man with others. Beside, Xiahou was the Emperor, all around him there were beautiful women. How long would it be before he moved on to someone else?
Yes, he pampered her, but that was because he thought she was special and interesting, because he had never met a woman who resisted him. He felt it was novel and fun to chase.
But, there would be a day soon. Maybe he liked her a little now, and he cared about her a little, but for how long?
One month? Two? A year? Or two years? And she was expected to live her life with this uncertainty wondering when she would be abandoned?
It was too hard and too humiliating.
She didnât have that kind of personality, hence, could not do such a thing. Even if she didnât really care about him, even if she was starting to kind of like him, even if her heart was beginning to be moved by him; she had to take it back.
It was better not to be in love.
And he, sooner or later, would fall in love with someone else, will love someone else and forget her.
So she wanted to leave. She must leave, while she had not gotten in deep, while she would not be pitiful.
There was a kick in her belly, Chuwei was stunned. With fascination in her eyes, she gave a gentle smile,
âBaby, Mommy is fine.â she said caressing her belly. Although it had been more than five months, she only had a small bulge, it didnât look obvious. She was still very thin as she had been a few months ago. Almost every day, she vomited anything she ate, and when she had been locked up, her mood was even more despondent. She had always been angry and cried everyday.
Of course, it was necessary to curse someone while crying. The mood of pregnant woman had its ups and downs. Chuwei was deeply aware these past few months.
Fortunately, this month, she finally stopped vomiting, and was able to keep her food down, and her face was getting round again.
âNiangniang,â the old woman who took care of her came with a large bowl of soup, âThis is long boiled chicken soup. Drink it while itâs hot.â She put the chicken soup down and left without saying anymore.
Chuwei was used to it. The old woman didnât have much to say. At first, she used to ask her about things, but the old woman would say nothing and only take care of her well being.
This must have been ordered by Xiahou. In this cold palace, no one spoke to her. He deliberately isolated her so she would beg for mercy.
In the end, she talked to her baby. Sometimes, the baby would kick and it would make her smile.
She would not do as he wished!
Everyday, she felt the life in her stomach, she was not unmoved. This child was part of her.
But Chuweiâs eyes held a hint of darkness. She spoke in a tone that was almost inaudible,
âMy baby, Iâm sorryâŠâ
She closed her eyes thinking of him, and her heart hurt. She immediately pressed that feeling down and resolved the decision in her heart.
Even if it hurt, she still had to do this.
She bit her lip and thought about him. There was an indescribable feeling, âXiahou YinâŠâ
Would he agree?
â
âHow is she?â Xiahou Yin asked turning to the window. His eyes looked in the direction of the cold palace. His straight back belied a trace of sorrow.
âThe Niangniang is in good condition recently, she is no longer vomiting and her appetite has increased a lot. She sleeps better at night, but it is said that she is still very thin and her stomach isnât big for five month pregnancy.â
Xiahou frowned, âGive her more supplements, make her eat more and make sure she is well taken care of.â
âYes.â
âHas she asked for anything?â
Yongfu looked at the back of his master. He didnât understand, the master was very concerned about the Empress but why did he fight with her and put her in the cold palace?
But he did not dare ask, everyone could see that the Emperor was in a bad mood recently.
âNo, Niangniang is very calm, she is said to often talk to the baby. She smiles while doing so.â
âIs that soâŠâ So was she no longer against giving birth to his child? Or was it that she did not reject his child, but did not want to be with him?
Staring in the direction of the cold palace, he could not help but sigh in his heart.
The move to imprison her in the cold palace alarmed the harem, especially since the Empress was pregnant; it should be a happy event, how could she be taken to the cold palace?
Even the Empress Dowager came to question her son. She could not understand the two of them, and the grandchild she had been longing for was conceived; how could it suddenly be like this?
But he said nothing. He remained coldly impassive and said it was his decree, and the Queen Mother was not allowed to visit Xiurong in the cold palace, completely isolating her and shutting her away in the remote courtyard.
The Queen Mother was angry, but it did not move him; he was the Emperor. He had no jokes. Even if she was the Queen Mother, she knew her sonâs personality.
This time he was serious, even she could not influence his decision.
But she returned to her palace and proclaimed that if the Empress was not returned to Fengyi Palace, the Emperor would not see his mother.
As for his uncle Guo Jiu, there were misgivings; after all he was a courtier. But he did not raise his queries before the Emperor himself. The ministers were also suspicious, but seeing the Emperor stand on his decision, they did not raise any protest. Although they were suspicious, they could see from the Emperorâs expression they could not broach the subject. They did not dare.
As her, although she was locked up in the cold palace, she still lived very well. Heâd completely isolated her, taken away the people she was most familiar with, and forbidden them to take care of her. He did not visit. He coldly left her alone, waiting for her to regret, waiting for her to ask for his mercy.
But she didnât.
He realised he was not at all surprised. If she admitted defeat, she would not be Jiang Chuwei. She would not be the proud lioness he knew her to be.
Even in the cold palace, she made sure she lived well. When she was emotional, she still had the power to curse him. When he heard the reports from Yongfu, it was both angering and funny at the same time.
That woman, how could she be so energetic in the place where people were afraid to be?
And he, without her wilfulness, felt lonely.
Xiahou Yin, have you been bewitched?
This woman was neither beautiful not gentle. Her temper is bigger than yours, and she hates you. All she thinks about is leaving you. She didnât even want your child to live. Why would you miss such a woman?
The novelty that she had brought in the beginning gradually worn off. But he began to want to catch her, wanted her to be with him and never leave. He even wanted to tie her to him with child.
But, could he tie her?
Keep her in the palace, let her hate him, let her gradually lose her happiness, make her suffer; was this what he really wanted?
Wasnât it her dazzling confidence that he liked about her?
But he really was not willing to let her go. He wanted her close. Even if she cried, even if she hated him; he did not care.
But if it didnât matter, he would not be so upset now.
Xiahou smiled bitterly, he never expected to fall into this kind of situation. He had the power of the world in his hand, but did not have the heart of the woman he wanted.
Who was Jiang Chuwei? She was just an ordinary woman. Which kind of woman did he want that he did not have? In his personally chosen harem; each woman was better looking than she was, gentler than she was, valued him more than she did, but he could only think about her.
Really found his own sin. [1]
WeiâŠ
He really didnât know what to do...for her.
[1] çæŻèȘæŸçœȘćïŒ - this was a confusing line.