Chapter 53 - barbed back gift

Zhou Ziheng never thought that Xia Xiqing would come.

Despite Xu Qichen’s repeated lobbying, Zhou Ziheng doesn’t think that Xia Xiqing will really expose his scars for the so-called “liberation”. It’s far easier than letting go of the past and loving yourself.

Zhou Ziheng didn’t sleep all night that morning. He actually regretted saying that at the moment, but compared to the impulsive words when he lost control of his emotions, what is more sad is that Xia Xiqing probably didn’t mind at all.

I don’t mind who he cooperates with, and I don’t mind who is really to my liking.

So when Xia Xiqing really appeared, Zhou Ziheng’s heart beat wildly.

Xia Xiqing walked towards him, raised his hand and took off the hair tie from the back of his head, and the hair scattered around his cheeks. His eyes looked at Zhou Ziheng, but when he actually walked in front of him, he turned his face away and put the script in the hands of Xu Qichen who was sitting beside him, without looking at him.

Xu Zixi, who was standing beside Zhou Ziheng, felt an inexplicable sense of nervousness when he saw Xia Xiqing, he bowed slightly and stretched out his hand to him, “Hello, I’m Xu Zixi.”

With an extremely gentle smile on Xia Xiqing’s face, he held Xu Zixi’s hand back, “Xia Xiqing.” His voice was as soft as a cloud in the sky, “You just acted really well.”

Clouds that cannot be grasped.

“thanks, thanks.”

He smiled and retracted his hand, without looking at Zhou Ziheng from the beginning to the end.

“Then Xi Qing has a test?” Director Kun said, his tone full of encouragement, “Don’t be nervous, let’s see how we feel.”

Everyone knows that Xia Xiqing is not a professional performer, and he can’t even be linked to the word actor, so the expectations are naturally not high. Even Kuncheng, who thinks he fits the role of Jiang Tong, knows that image and temperament are one thing, but acting skills are another.

Xia Xiqing didn’t make any preparations, walked up to the machine, smiled a lot, and introduced himself simply and clearly, “Hi everyone, I’m Xia Xiqing.”

After the introduction, he walked out of the door step by step, took a deep breath, and closed the door.

Looking at the closed door, Xia Xiqing began to panic in his heart. He didn’t know why he came here. Is it really necessary for him to recall those pains for the sake of ridiculous self-esteem?

Memories are terrible things, they can erode Xia Xiqing’s senses almost instantly, as long as he doesn’t avoid them, they will appear openly and unscrupulously. Xia Xiqing felt his eyes begin to lose focus, and the door in front of him seemed to have changed its shape and color.

It turned into the dark blue door of his own bedroom when he was a child. He tried to touch the doorknob with his fingertips. There seemed to be a hole deep in his heart, and black viscous liquid leaked out from the inside bit by bit, bit by bit. Points gushed out, wrapping the heart tightly, oppressing every heartbeat.

Breathing becomes difficult. Xia Xiqing withdrew his hand, trying hard to convince himself.

He wasn’t the one locked in the room this time.

He’s going to save the kid in the room.

The crisp sound of beating boards coming from the hotel room is like a strong suggestion to start hypnosis. Xia Xiqing’s hands began to tremble uncontrollably, and all the past he dared not recall were overturned, along with the black blood gurgling from his heart.

[It would be fine if you weren’t born, if I hadn’t given birth to you, my life wouldn’t be like this! ]

[Why did I give birth to a son like you? Are you as crazy as your mother? Why don’t you die! ]

Xia Xiqing raised his hand and knocked on the door twice like a walking dead. His hand paused in the air, and he knocked twice more.

It would be nice if someone came to save him in the first place.

His hands began to shake. In order to continue, Xia Xiqing pressed his left hand on the wrist of his right hand, and knocked **** the door, hard and fast.

Until the door was slammed open, Xia Xiqing took a breath for a moment, and the breath was held in his chest. His lips were slightly opened, and the breath was slowly released.

He felt himself trembling all over.

He didn’t look at the actor who was playing with him, and walked quickly to the little girl’s side with dodge eyes, grabbed her, and protected her in his arms. The actor seemed to think that Xia Xiqing was an amateur actor, and wanted to help him get into better shape, so he specially cooperated with him in acting, and came up and pulled Xia Xiqing’s arm violently, “You are **** sick!”

Xia Xiqing didn’t look back, stretched out his arms, picked up the little actor who was standing stupidly, and walked out the door without saying a word. The actor who played the role was stunned for a moment, which was completely different from the last audition, but he quickly realized that he took two quick steps and grabbed Xia Xiqing’s arm, “What are you doing! Put her down!”

Being pulled by him like this, Xia Xiqing staggered, took a few steps back, stretched out his hand to protect the girl’s head, and walked out without saying a word.

His legs were a little weak and trembling slightly, and he gritted his teeth tightly. After tugging with the girl’s “father” for a long time, maybe the hands holding the little girl were a little sore. Everyone noticed that his arms were trembling.

The girl’s “father” cursed a few words, picked up a chair beside him and was about to smash it on it, Xia Xiqing had no time to hide, and squatted down with his arms around the little girl.

Zhou Ziheng’s heart stopped suddenly, and he rushed forward without even thinking about it. Originally, the actor smashed it after a long distance, just to borrow a seat, but Zhou Ziheng was too anxious and didn’t grasp his sense of propriety. Standing too close, the arm was smashed by the chair leg. He furrowed his brows tightly, and the blow was not light.

He was afraid that the opposite actor would be out of the play because of his injury, so he pushed him away very quickly, and stretched out his hand to pull Xia Xiqing, but he didn’t pull it the first time, and only pulled him up from the ground the second time.

Xia Xiqing who was pulled up just lowered his head and hugged the little girl, took two steps, and put her down.

When Xia Xiqing was scolded by that “father” just now, Xia Xiqing was taken back to the past in almost a second. He felt a burning pain in his body, like the pain from a golf club being dropped. The hysterical quarrels of his parents kept appearing in his mind. He was locked in the room, crying and slapping the door until his palms were swollen.

No one rescued him. No one came to rescue him.

Xia Xiqing’s eyes fell on the little girl, his eyelashes trembled, and his eyes were a little distracted. He squatted down, pulled down the hem of the girl’s wrinkled clothes with his hands, and smoothed it out, then reached out and gently brushed her messy hair behind her ears, and gently touched the girl’s face.

He tried to force a smile, and the moment his mouth parted, his teeth unconsciously bit the inside of his lips. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he took the little girl’s hand and wrote two words stroke by stroke with his index finger. .

Not only for this child, but also for myself back then.

There are not many strokes, but Xia Xiqing wrote very slowly, his fingers trembled so much that he had to pause for a long time for each stroke, and every stroke was extremely difficult.

[Don’t be afraid. ]

After the last stroke, he slowly closed the small palm into a small fist, put it into the pocket of the little girl’s red coat, and patted the bulging pocket lightly.

Looking up at her, his brows suddenly frowned.

The little girl’s face changed to that young and helpless self.

The little one was covered in injuries, and his shiny black pupils were full of confusion and despair.

His whole body began to tremble, Xia Xiqing didn’t dare to look, he lowered his eyes slightly, and suddenly became extremely timid, his shoulders trembled uncontrollably, even the little actor was too frightened to speak.

Zhou Ziheng who was standing aside finally couldn’t stand it anymore, his patience had reached its limit. No longer caring about the script, Zhou Ziheng squatted down and put his hand on Xia Xiqing’s shoulder.

It’s so quiet here, but Xia Xiqing can hear the heart-piercing cry of that young self, the voice is deafening.

Beg for mercy, cry for help, sob, be silent. Little by little, the strength to wear away.

[Is there anyone outside… can you open the door for me…]

[It’s so dark… I’m afraid. ]

haven’t seen you for a long time.

So you were so scared.

Xia Xiqing raised his eyes, his eyelashes trembling slightly, he tried to look directly at the little girl’s face, bit his back molars tightly, and stretched out his hands to hug her. That little body was so soft and fragile, Xia Xiqing didn’t dare to use force, but his arms shook uncontrollably, he was afraid that he would hurt her, and that he didn’t bring her courage.

Afraid she was still afraid.

Finally, a teardrop that had nowhere to hide fell from his clear pupil, and Xia Xiqing closed his eyes.

Don’t be afraid.

Maybe… these are all in the past.

“Cut!”

The beating of the board gave everyone who was holding their breath an opportunity to release. The performance just now was completely different from the previous auditioner. There were no skillful lines or explosive crying scenes, but everyone’s emotions were mobilized, and their hearts were suspended, which was extremely uncomfortable.

Xia Xiqing opened his eyes and took a few deep breaths before letting go of the little girl. The little girl wiped his face with her soft hand, her voice was tender and innocent.

“Brother don’t cry.”

Xia Xiqing laughed.

“Brother is acting, not really crying.” He stretched out his hand and pinched the little actor’s face very lightly, “I’m not sad at all, are you sad?”

“a little bit.”

Xia Xiqing smiled and hugged the cute little actor, and gently repeated her words, “A little bit…”

The smile on his face was extremely fragile in Zhou Ziheng’s eyes, like the brilliance refracted by the crystal a second before the fall.

Xia Xiqing let out a long sigh of relief, turned half of his body and grabbed Zhou Ziheng’s arm, just happened to touch the place where he was hit by the leg of the chair just now, Zhou Ziheng hissed in pain.

“What about your professionalism?” Xia Xiqing’s voice was cold, and Zhou Ziheng couldn’t fathom his current mood.

He just wanted to hug him, especially if he gave him the chance.

Xia Xiqing let go of his hand and stood up, smiling at Director Kun. The surprise on Director Kun’s face hadn’t faded, he also stood up and walked to Xia Xiqing’s side.

“Your performance just now is completely at the level of a professional actor.” He smiled with disbelief, “You really haven’t studied acting?”

“No. This role is a bit similar to me. Let’s play the role.” Xia Xiqing let go of his emotions too quickly and couldn’t fully recover. He twitched the corners of his mouth and tried his best to maintain a decent smile, “Director, excuse me, I’ll go Go to the bathroom.”

Kuncheng nodded, watching Xia Xiqing leave the hotel room, he turned and sat back on his chair just now, the producer next to him said, “Do you also think Xia Xiqing’s acting is better? His last tear just now was really too much.” It’s amazing. If you give it a close-up, it must be particularly shocking on the big screen. He didn’t need to cry and shout, and he grabbed the hearts of the audience all at once.”

The producer seems to have picked up a treasure, analyzing his skills with great devotion, how he controls the timing of tears falling, how to control the magnitude of trembling, and which angles this face is suitable for. The more he talks, the more excited he becomes.

It wasn’t until he finished the last sentence that Kuncheng slowly shook his head.

“He’s not acting at all.”

Kuncheng discovered that Xia Xiqing didn’t look at the actor who played “father” the whole time, it was subconsciously avoiding out of fear, he was so scared that he didn’t dare to look or resist. In fact, a person suffering from depression would not cry out loudly, and Xia Xiqing might understand that feeling better.

The most frightening thing was that he didn’t dare to see the little actor he had been protecting all along.

This wonderful “performance” was really sublimated at the last moment when he looked directly at the young actor.

These cannot be performed.

Xu Qichen held the script tightly and remained silent. Zhou Ziheng was right, he was indeed too cruel. When he didn’t see Xia Xiqing cut himself apart, he was always standing in the God’s perspective of a bystander, coercing him to recall those terrible pasts out of the original intention of helping.

He couldn’t help feeling a little regretful and began to doubt himself.

He didn’t know whether he was helping him or hurting him.

Xia Xi washed his face and put his hands on the sink. He tried his best to get out of the emotion just now, but it was not easy.

“How are you?”

It was the newcomer’s voice.

Xia Xiqing changed his smile in an instant, straightened up and pulled two pieces of paper to wipe his hands, “It’s good.” He crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it into the wastebasket, his eyes fell on Xu Zixi’s delicate face.

“I…” Xu Zixi hesitated, “I want to know why you acted like this? I mean, how did you conceive it? Because after I got the script, I felt that he should especially want to protect that little girl.” girl, and he’s sad…”

Although he was very unclear, Xia Xiqing fully understood what he meant, and he took a step closer.

“It’s actually very good for you to act like that.” Xia Xiqing patted Xu Zixi’s shoulder, and dropped his hand again, putting it in his pocket.

“He did want to protect the little girl, but he was more afraid. More than the child.”

Xu Zixi’s eyes were full of doubts. Xia Xiqing just smiled bitterly, and his voice slowly sank like a stone thrown into the middle of the lake.

“It’s a good thing not to understand. Your childhood must have been very happy.”

Just as Xia Xiqing was about to leave, there was another person at the bathroom door, and his chest was clenched again for an instant.

I don’t know why, but he can laugh at everyone at the moment, except Zhou Ziheng. As long as he saw Zhou Ziheng’s face, he wanted to tear himself apart and show him his ugliest and most hideous side.

Give up on yourself for no reason.

“Zixi, I want to talk to him alone.” Zhou Ziheng walked in with a very polite tone, “If it’s convenient for you…”

Seeing Zhou Ziheng, Xu Zixi responded immediately, and was about to go out, “Well, tell me, brother Xi Qing, thank you, I’ll go first.”

Xia Xiqing didn’t say a word, he leaned back against the sink with his eyes downcast. Zhou Ziheng didn’t speak, grabbed his arm and led him to the innermost compartment of the bathroom, and closed the door.

The cramped space tried its best to compress emotions, and Xia Xiqing felt his temples twitching. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but when he thought of Zhou Ziheng calling the newcomer “Zi Xi” just now, and referring to himself as “he”, he felt annoyed for no reason.

Annoyed gestures are too inelegant.

Xia Xiqing licked the corner of his mouth, looked at Zhou Ziheng pretending to be relaxed, and his tone was full of sarcasm, “I don’t have a name?”

Zhou Ziheng was stunned for a moment before he came to his senses. He tried to explain, “I think calling him by his full name is too serious, and it will make him misunderstand that I am pressured by seniors.”

“So?” Xia Xiqing looked into his eyes, persevering, and said word by word, “I don’t have a name?”

Being looked at by him like this, Zhou Ziheng felt nothing to hide. He wanted to call him Xi Qing, or even something more intimate, but he didn’t have the right position.

“You pulled me in without saying a word.” Xia Xiqing put his arms around his chest and raised the tails of his eyes frivolously, “Could it be that you want to do it now?” He didn’t know who he was speaking these harsh words to, he I can’t control myself at all.

There is no way to dispel the emotional out of control, so use another emotion to cover it up.

Xia Xiqing raised his chin, and the stretched arc of his neck gave off a fragile beauty.

“Do you think I acted well just now?” His cheeks were still stained with water, “Do I look good when I cry? Does it make you want to protect?”

A series of tortures brutally beat Zhou Ziheng’s heart.

Seeing Zhou Ziheng’s brows furrowed tighter and his clenched fist turned white, Xia Xiqing felt an inexplicable sense of accomplishment, as if provoking Zhou Ziheng could bring him great pleasure.

He sneered, and the wet strands of hair stuck to his cheeks, “Do you pity me? Pity me so you want to have **** with me?”

“Why don’t we have a kiss first?” Xia Xiqing leaned close to him, and the lips that were bitten just now were glowing brightly.

Zhou Ziheng finally couldn’t bear it and pushed him against the wall.

The stone thrown into the center of the lake will finally fall to the bottom of the silent and cold lake. Xia Xiqing lowered his eyes, but instead Zhou Ziheng hugged him tightly in his arms.

He frowned in astonishment, and wanted to push Zhou Ziheng away, but he hugged him even tighter.

“I’m very angry now,” Zhou Ziheng’s voice trembled a little, obviously suppressing his emotions, “but I’ll recover in a while.”

Xia Xiqing was stunned, his voice weak.

“You are angry… why are you still hugging me?”

“Otherwise you will run away, and I will regret it after I calm down. I don’t want to regret it.” Zhou Ziheng’s arms were bound tighter.

There was a moment of silence, in which only the heartbeat of each other could be heard. Zhou Ziheng’s hand loosened slightly, and he took a deep breath, “I’m not angry now.” The hand moved up slowly, stroking Xia Xiqing’s head, the palm was unbelievably warm.

It takes courage and patience to embrace a rose.

I know those thorns will go into the skin and into the blood, it doesn’t matter, give me a minute, I will pull them out, and the pain will be relieved soon.

But I still want to hug that rose.

Zhou Ziheng finally said what he wanted to say to him from the beginning, and kissed his hair tenderly.

“Don’t be afraid, Xi Qing.”

“I’m here.”