Ai and Lu didnât come back for dinner. Du drank a lot but not as drunk as he was last time. He refused to go back home with help and stumbled on the way back alone under the moonlight.
Ji looked at him behind. She suddenly felt solitary. Sorrow spread in her heart. A thought came to her mind that she shouldnât had helped Ai to sound him out.
She forced a bitter smile. It was obvious for her why she insisted on doing that because her feelings had never been accepted. So she always resented those who she wanted to love but didnât dare to love.
There were only two kinds of feelings in the world: like or dislike. If you liked someone, you should speak out. If you didnât, you should do it, too. Those who likes someone but didnât dare to say it should never be regarded as shy. It was all damned nonsense!
Ji looked up at the moon. She felt as if she also had been drunk. She missed Bai Jin so much.
As there were guests at home, Lu Zhanke chose to sleep in the guest room, leaving the master bedroom to Ai and Ji.
They didnât sleep together for a long time. It was strange that they should chat for the whole day, but they kept silence because they each had a load on their minds.
When they were woolgathering, Jiâs phone rang. She didnât even need to see it. It must be Bai Jin. Because the exclusive ringtone was âMy Own Angelâ.
âNobody can take you away from me. You are my one and only angel. Your man should be me. Nobody can replace you in my heartâŚâ
Hearing the lyric, Ji couldnât help crying.
Ai was so surprised to see Ji crying. She asked in a hurry, âFan. What happened to you?â
Ji turned back to hug Ai, âSaner. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate himâŚâ
She kept saying this.
âWho? Who are you talking about?â Ai was confused.
Ji concealed her own secrets rarely known by others all the time. She wanted to find someone to confide to. However, she had no choice but to continue her concealing. She was struggling. The pain kept weighing heavily on her mind. She was afraid that she could not manage it one day.
She loved Bai Jin but she couldnât love him. Because he called him brother. The relationship was enough to eliminate any possibility of being with him.
She hated him. But for him, she would have not been in pain. She couldnât be with him. She knew it clearly. Why did she fall in love with him?
She didnât even dare to tell Ai the shameful secret. She was afraid that Ai would despise her. Thus, she just needed some time to cry. Just some time.
How could Ai bring herself to see her crying so sadlyďźShe was eager to figure out, âFan, What happened to you? Tell me now. Come on!â
Ai was anxious to know. Ji was always an optimistic and strong person. Now she was at the peak of her career. She couldnât imagine what kind of thing could make her cry so sadly. She couldnât figure out, which made her even more worried.
Ji didnât say any words but just cried hugging Ai. Ai could do nothing but keep comforting her and didnât force her to tell the truth.
After Ji cried enough, she started to talk about the reason why she cried. But the reason was just an excuse she made up.
âDid you watch the recent news? Ye Chenâs fans cursed me to death. I am stressed now. I canât watch TV. I canât answer any phone call. I canât even log in Weibo. This is my first time that I felt so stressed after I entered the entertainment circle.â Ji sighed slowly, âThis is extremely stressful. I canât even breathe.â
Gossiping was a universal psychology. Not to mention others, Ai herself liked gossip as well. But she just took it as amusement. She never took it too seriously or left any aggressive comments online. Most of stuff in the entertainment circle was media hype with particular purposes. If you were serious, you lost.
Jiâd experienced lots of ups and downs in her life. But this time, she must be too stressed to bear it. No wonder she would come to this seclusion to seek for fresh and free air.
Ai sighed, âIf you want to get something, you should pay for it. You are a popular star and you will definitely lose some part of your freedom. But, Fan, just be yourself. Donât care too much about what other people think of you. You can think about those who support you. For exampleâŚfor example. Anxin.â
Ji wiped his tears, âYouâre right. I should consider those who support me. I canât be knocked down. Never.â
The phone rang again when she just finished speaking. It was the same song and the same man.
Ai asked, âDo you wanna pick up?â
She felt Zhou Nianxin must be worried about Ji Xingfan so he would call again and again.
Ji smirked coldly. That call could be from anybody else but Zhou Nianxin. There was only uncle Bai in her eyes. Even Ji, her daughter, had to step aside.
Ji closed her eyes and said coolly, âIt was not my mom. It was probably a reporter from Entertainment Weekly calling to dig for gossip.â
âAhâŚâ Ai felt somewhat annoyed. These people were reallyâŚwasnât it enough? They called to ask, how dared? Didnât they know stars were also human? Sometimes they were frail as well. Why did they keep compelling?
âWhy donât we shut it down?â She suggested.
Ji thought for a while and finally picked up the phone. Looking at two shining characters on the screen âBai Jinâ, her eyes flashed. Then she pressed the power button to shut it down.
It was time for him to worry, as a punishment.
After Ji shut down the phone, she asked Ai, âWe cannot be found in this place, right?â
Bai Jin was a resourceful man. There was a time when she went to a far place for shooting. And unfortunately her phone was out of charge. Bai Jin found someone to locate where she was, which hotel, and which room she was in. Now she didnât want to let him find her easily again.
âAh. I think so. â It could not be called as a military region if it could be easily located.
âOK.â Ji was at ease now.
âWell.â Seeing Ji was alright, Ai let her mind wandering again.
Ji knew that Ai must be worrying about what happened during the dinner time. She pondered for a long while and asked, â Who are you thinking about, Lu or Du?â
âAh?â Ai flustered when being seen through easily. Then she started to think back. Who was she thinking about just now?
Ji said, âYou have to make a decision in the end. Du Yucheng or Lu Zhanke. â
There was a flash in Aiâs eyes. After long silence, she chose to escape from the reality, âIâŚI donât know. Everything is unknown already, right? Du YuchengâŚPerhaps he is not Qin Zhan.â
If she didnât get the answer from Du himself, everything was just their conjecture.
Ji couldnât stand her fluke mind, âWhat kind of answer do you want? Donât you know Du fuddled himself after you and Lu left? You didnât see how he looked like when he left finally. It..it was heartbreakingâŚâ
Ji sighed with sentiment. If Bai Jin could be spoony like Du Yucheng, she would not have been dejected, weeping all by herself.
âReally? âAi bit her lip. Guil and uneasiness surged up deep in her heart. When Lu said those words, she was shocked indeed. She never thought about going back, âButâŚâ
Why did he say nothing in her presence?
âIf you donât believe me, you can ask him again tomorrow. But you need to think: what are you going to do after you ask him.â
âI âŚI am still thinkingâŚâ Their relationship was a tangle of wool ball. She would had intended to escape it, but she didnât expect that Ji would force her to make a choice.
âI should thank god if he is not Qin Zhan. But what if he is.â
âNow I am gonna ask him first. Who is he? Du Yucheng. Qin Zhan. Which one is true? Why did he lie to me? Why did he pretend not to recognize me?â
âSo, you chose Qin Zhan? Youâd better be resolute about your choice. Donât change any more, no matter what Lu says. Donât change.â
âIâŚâ Ai looked at Ji, hesitating about the unspoken words. She must have promised Ai if it was before. Because at that time, there was only Qin Zhan in her mind. But now, she should feel sorry for Lu and she didnât want to.
Did she betray herself? Or did she become a bad woman, loving two men at the same time?
No. No. She loved Qin Zhan. She never thought about falling in love with Lu Zhanke. This was her true thought.
âDid you forget why you came here? You are here for negotiating with Lu about divorce. You forgot what you said before. You said you loved Qin Zhan.â Ji made up her mind and had another punch on Aiâs heart, âYou are hesitating, which will only hurt yourself and others aw well.â
âBut you encouraged me to accept Lu?â Ai remembered when she snapped a picture of Lu and showed it to Ji, and Ji said how silly she was to refuse Lu, such a dashing man.
âIâŚâ Ji didnât know what to say. She said after a while, âThings have changed. I am reminding you. You should make your own decision. I am protecting you from being hurt.â
âIâŚI know.â Ai seemed to be determined.
A complicated expression flashed in Jiâs eyes. She clutched Aiâs hand, saying in low voice, âYou are doing a right thing. You know clearly who you love.â
Just like herself, she knew well that she hated Bai Jin bitterly but was willing to die for him.
She didnât care. She could sacrifice anything for him.