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Chapter 318: Stuffing a mushroom into a middle-aged man’s mouth seems to be the most depressing act in the world.
Day 76 – Nighttime, the Capital, the Royal Palace
The King is to simply sit and wait. My buttocks hurt, and it’s also hard on my back. I’d like to get one of those massage chairs too, but I wonder if he can make a throne? Umu, let’s send a messenger to the souvenir store later.
Things are still quiet for now. If it ends like this the Royal Family will restore its authority and will be able to seize power. In that case, this calmness is eerie for the ball that will become the last party for the corrupt nobles.
Elegant music is playing in the hall, and fancily-dressed lords are chatting with fake smiles. A muddy dance party of the nobles, no different from usual, where corrupted desires are mixed with the intrigues and scheming. But that warped atmosphere was drowned out and turned into a fun feast mixed with the voices of children running around.
But that is true only for the seats of honor, the lower portion of the hall is in chaos. The ones that glance around in confusion, those anxiously talking together, bunching up as if out of fear, and those that hatefully scowl in discontent. Only a small number finds this pleasant.
What is noble of a lady who enviously stares at the laughing children and clicks her tongue? Jealous of the gorgeous dresses of the orphans, enraged by them sitting in their higher position than themselves, resenting their crime being brought to light and openly discussed, disgusted at having lowly orphans in the same room, they make their displeasure and irritation apparent.
Even though Mellotosam and others are playing with the children, those have rotten to the point of being unable to see their fault?
How ugly. Heinousness too unsightly to tolerate.
And this is the Kingdom. Even though『The King controls the nobility, the nobility protects the people』 is the pledge made upon receive a rank of nobility, not only are they not protecting the people, they are holding them in contempt.
「Your Majesty, Marquis Skobathus is asking for a permission for greeting.」
「He came despite his illness, let’s meet him. …Old man, what do you think seeing that scene?」
The grand chamberlain that has been looking after me since my childhood is about to retire due to his age. That’s why I want to know what his thoughts are.
「I apologize for the insolent utterance in spite of my incompetence. What I taught and passed down are indeed traditions of the Royal Family, however, what I ended up teaching Your Majesty is but a mere skeleton of tradition, full of errors. Please forget all of the ancient customs that I have taught you. The Royal Family’s motto was simply『Royal Family for the sake of the people』. That alone was something that never should have been forgotten. That what I was reminded of by seeing the smiles of the children.」
The old man looked at the children, and bowed his head to the black-haired boy. Then, went to bring Marquis Skobathus. He is one stern, stubborn, inflexible old man, but… He can smile like that too, huh.
「Your Majesty, congratulations on the recovery and on this victory. I apologize for my incompetent self that could not be of any help in the time of need.」
Marquis Skobathus kneels leaning on his cane and supported by the chamberlain. There was not even a shadow of the giant bear-like man that he was before, giving off an impression like he aged a few decades overnight.
「It can’t be helped, you couldn’t have led an army while suffering from an illness. And with Miss Barebarela entrusted with the First Division, there really was no way around. Miss Barebarela’s service has compensated for House Skobathus in full… *whispering* (and the one who was completely useless this time was myself… And it’s not like I could ask you to entrust your army to my younger brother)」
「…I’m deeply grateful for those words.」
Boorish and completely devoted to warfare, failing to participate in the war must be vexing for them. But that is something that the nobles arbitrarily decided on their own. Hedged in by restrictions, House Skobathus was cleverly cut off from both the Frontier and the Capital. So their ability to act was sealed.
「But the scene just now gave me chills. I can’t recall when was the last time I have experienced such terror, be it on the battlefield or in a dungeon.」
The smile that appeared on his emaciated face still retained his past ferocious intensity. No, he is simply excited after being hit by that spirit.
「There are too few of those that understand this. The majority of them are running all flustered without any idea what actually happened… To think that these are the sword (nobles) of the Kingdom, how deplorable. What possible can they protect if they can’t even recognize a mortal danger?」
It could not have been helped even if all of us were killed at that moment, and most likely, it was possible. That is not the kind of an issue that can be solved with an apology. He backed off with that, but it’s not like we were forgiven. Because we by no means should ever be forgiven.
「My liege, what are you going to do? I arrived here fully expecting this to be my place of death, so please give your order.」
「Shariceres told me, if I want to adhere to the Royal Family’s covenant, I need to be resolved to kill the Kingdom. 」
By the time I woke up from my long sleep my daughter has become an adult. My stupid daughter that knew nothing but sword and warfare has become a princess of a kingdom. What did she see, what did she learn… Her eyes, filled with resolve and determination, had an unshakable will within them.
The Royal Family’s covenant lies in protecting its subjects. And its enemies right now are the nobles. Descendants of the comrades that gathered together to bring forth the Royal Family and who swore to protect the people together… Those very nobles.
「At what point have this Kingdom gone so wrong…」
「It did not. They are the ones who betrayed the aspirations of their own ancestors. There is nothing more to it.」
It’s peaceful. That’s because all of the people in the seats of honor can be trusted and there also aren’t that many of them. However, once the preliminary phase ends and the actual ball begins the partition will be gone, and there will be no such thing as seats of honor and lower seats. Once the lines are maintained by etiquette alone, people are going to come and go. Will everything end without an issue?
「Please rest at ease, I might have aged, but I will definitely make sure to protect those children, that’s the most I can do to atone for my crime. Naturally, the same goes for the black-haired foreign guests as well. Although for them it’s a needless concern.」
This ball is going to change the fate of the Kingdom. If the nobles will keep their weapons sheathed, then we will be able to make progress with reforms, even if at a slow pace. But if they won’t consent it would mean a civil war.
「Aaaah, not only do middle-aged men have unpleasant-looking faces but also a poor color of that face, like, not a single good point to them, which is kind of natural for middle-aged men, but having such a unhealthy-looking middle-aged man around is detrimental for the orphans healthy development, and stuffing it into a middle-aged man’s mouth is not only not fun at all, but is actually deeply depressing, and absolutely not sought by anymore, so there is not a single good thing about this, but… Open your mouth? HOORYAAA!」
The black-haired boy suddenly appeared, and shoving a mushroom in lord Skobathus’ mouth with an incomprehensible words, forcibly made him swallow it down. Beside him, Mellotosam and lady Murimur are laughing as they watch that act?
「Well, as expected, the real Mushroom Evangelist is totally different. When I was trying to stuff the mushroom into That (the king), I had quite a hard time since he just wouldn’t swallow it, you know? Is there some trick to it?」
So it means… The same was done to me as well.
「Nope! And who even cares! For some reason, I’m taking tons of Emotional Damage from merely shoving a mushroom into middle-aged man’s mouth, so I totally didn’t need you painting such a disgusting scene of middle-aged dude stuffing a mushroom into another middle-aged dude’s mouth, or rather, middle-aged men themselves aren’t needed in this world!」
Middle-aged dude… Well, it certainly doesn’t make for a pretty picture. While I do think he could’ve normally offered it as a medicine, I can’t complain after having my life saved.
「However, lord Skobathus seems to be convulsing, is he alright?」
Darting his eyes in confusion he is shaking and twitching. While it does seem like there is some redness to his face, it also makes one wonder if he is simply choking on a mushroom stuck in his throat.
「Eeeeh?! I mean, if he chokes to death there will be one less middle-aged man in the world, and if he survives, he will return to a healthy middle-aged man, exacerbating middle-aged menofication phenomenon, and polluting the atmosphere with middle-aged men stink, which would be a great problem! Kind of?」
He got up. But even though lord Skobathus was sick, to think that he’d be able to shove a mushroom into the mouth of such a renowned warrior in a mere instant, that’s some amazing technique.
「Ooh, was that the legendary Recovery Mushroom?! Haruka-dono, was it? I’m greatly grateful for the precious and valuable healing mushroom. Please allow me to express my thanks, You can call me Old man Skobathus, if you care, the pain in my body have completely vanished!」
Having said that, he deeply lowered his head. Just some moment ago he couldn’t even stand without leaning on a cane, but as he straightened up and stood proud now, he even appeared to be larger than before.
「Ah, how sly, Sir Skobathus! Haruka-kun, instead of this middle-aged man that just popped out of nowhere, could you please remember my name already? Or rather, can you at least remember House Omui’s name? Since it’s also the name of the town? Every plan you bring a new paper it has『Omusomething town? Like, the plan for that crazy down with mountains of clubs? Kind of?』, which got even officials depressed?」
Nice, looks Mellotosam didn’t get his name memorized yet. So there is still a chance. I mean, he doesn’t remember the name of this country either. The boy can’t retain in his memory neither the name of the Frontier that he gave a new life, nor the name of the Kingdom that he saved, as if saying that he has no interest in something of that sort. However, I can’t be careless. After all, the person closest to being called by their actual name is Madam Murimur at Murimuri-san, and the runner-up is Mellotosam himself at Meripapa-san. Even my daughter is still stuck at Sharishari-san.
But to think that the Royal Palace, which felt like an oppressive prison my entire life, could have delighted children’s laughs fill its halls, feeling so bright, and even joyous.
Speaking of which, among the countless nicknames this boy possesses, there was…『Natural Enemy of Common Sense』.
The burden, the chains called the Kingdom’s traditions and the Royal Family’s formalities also were nothing but common sense made up by somebody. Convincing ourselves that it is something absolute, we acted the same as someone who had wandered into a blind alley and then began lamenting that there is no way out of it. That’s right, we simply had to crush it like that boy did. Unable to do such a simple thing, we trapped ourselves into a prison of our misconceptions, and this Royal Palace is the symbol of that.
But my common sense was shattered the moment I saw the boy who was casually walking in and out of an impenetrable and impregnable fortress as he saw fit, and even was eating a boxed lunch there. What we thought to be a labyrinth (Royal Palace) with no escape was so easy to enter and leave. But that was only natural, because the most famous nickname of the boy here is 『Dungeon (labyrinth) Killer』.
The inescapable maze of common sense has long since been destroyed. Yes, from the moment I saw him eating his lunch box. However, that lunch box surely looked tasty.