âThe child was already dead. The crying child who had been looking for his mother apparently died of starvation because she refused to breastfeed. I donât know. Was it because the child didnât want to eat? Did he starve to death because he didnât want Arya, or did he kill get killed because he was noisy? Because what I saw was a babyâs corpse wrapped in a steel cloth with gold embroidements.â
âAh⌠ahâŚ!â
Sienna couldnât close her mouth from the shock. No screams or curses came out of her mouth.
âTo have died⌠that Joseph is dead⌠for that young thing to have gone so miserablyâŚâ
Sienna shook her head, releasing a squealing cry. She couldnât believe Carlâs statement about Josephâs death.
She knew, of course, that the child would be exploited and used miserably, but she never imagined he would die. Arya needed Joseph, the emperorâs blood relative. Thatâs why she had thought he wouldnât have been killed.
âThe childâs death mustâve been unthinkable for Arya. She had obtained an infant with olive-colored eyes, but as you know, those olive-colored eyes are the only characteristic of the royal family of Laifsden, so she couldnât find them very easily.â
âUgh⌠ughâŚâ
Siennaâs breaths seemed as though they were coming out as she was being strangled. Only a moan left her throat, which choked with her tears.
âPlease, kill me⌠Please⌠Kill me,â she prayed on her feet. Sienna wanted him to take her life as soon as possible. âJoseph⌠My childâŚâ
âDid you think you would go to your sonâs side after spilling the blood of so many alongside Arya?â
ââŚâ
She had already given up on everything. Carl shook his head and raised his sword high into the air.
âThis is the first and the last thing I will do out of consideration for you.â
ââŚâ
Sienna closed her eyes as soon as his black sword fell over her neck.
A New Beginning
Sienna felt as if someone had been shaking her body. Had she not managed to die yet?
She had definitely felt Carlâs blade slash over her neck, but she couldnât feel any pain. All she could feel was the numbness of her legs and the stiffness of her waist and neck.
âMs. Sienna, please try to wake up.â
She was forced to open her eyes to the familiar but friendly voice that woke her up.
âYouâll see the castle soon.â
â⌠Nanny?!â Sienna called, startled.
Chelsea was the nanny who had raised Sienna on behalf of her late mother. The warts on her left cheek and the pleasing wrinkles around her mouth proved it was definitely her.
The last time she had seen Chelsea had been at the wedding. Chelsea had helped her out in the wedding, and Sienna had heard that Chelsea had died in a chariot accident on her way back north. The news had spread throughout. For Sienna, meeting someone now who had died a long time ago meant that she, too, must have definitely died.
âNanny!â
âReally, miss. Iâm not deaf yet, so you can call for me softly.â
Sienna laughed at her words, tears streaming down her smiling cheeks.
âNanny! I canât believe I can see you like thisâŚâ
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
No matter how ignorant she had been of Aryaâs revolt, many people had died and had gotten caught up in her sinister plans, much like Sienna. Sienna had thought she wouldâve gone to hell for that.
âI thought Iâd go to hell! What a sight to see nanny like this! A good nanny canât go to hell, so I guess this isnât hell. Nanny! Whereâs Joseph? Huh? Joseph?â
âMy dear, what the hell are you talking about? Who the hell is Joseph? Did you have a nightmare?â
Chelsea wiped Siennaâs tears with her rough hand, and her hand started turning red.
â⌠Nightmare?â
âBecause you said youâd get nausea from the carriage ride, you didnât eat properly. You must have gotten motion sickness and lost your energy. When a person is on an empty stomach, they lose their minds and thoughts. Iâm going to get off before we get to the capital since the driver mentioned a break stop before our arrival, so Iâll get you some light soup.â
At that moment, the speed of the carriage was reduced as a rush of noise came from the front of the procession.
âI think theyâre going to take a rest now. One moment. Iâll be right back.â
Chelsea ran outside as soon as the carriage stopped, but Sienna had so much to ask her.
âIs this a dream? Am I not dead? That time in the imperial palace was actually just a nightmare?â
Everything was too vivid to dismiss as a dream. How could it all be a dream?
She still missed the warmth of holding Joseph in her arms, and Josephâs death had been so heartbreaking⌠Had it all been a dream? Even her desperate grudge against Arya had been borne of a dream? A fancy? She couldnât believe that at all.
Sienna searched her clothes with great ambition. She was wearing a coarse-grained brown dress. No matter how short her budget, she was the First Empress of the Laifsden Empire. In the royal palace, even the ladies and gentlemen didnât wear that kind of material.
âWhat in the world⌠If it was a dream, when did it become a nightmare, and what was really the dream?â
She felt sick to be inside a wagon that smelled like a narrow, damp tree, so opened the carriageâs door and went out.
The outside of the carriage was bustling. Those who had settled in the wide-open space had lit a fire and were boiling something. Some were feeding horses, while others were sitting in the shade, wiping sweat from their tired faces, and exchanging stories.
And in the distance, the huge castle which was encircled by the capital of the Laifsden Empire looked like a mirage.
âAhâŚâ
She certainly remembered seeing that before. That had been when Sienna, who had only lived in the northern lands before, had been on her way out of her lands for her coming of age at the capital.
At that time, she had been excited, and her heart had fluttered just by her looking at the fortress in the distance. She had had no idea of the kind of dirty and shady thing the place was behind all that glamour.
âWhen one dies, apparently they think about the life they lived and end up reliving it⌠Is that it?â
Sienna just couldnât see it all as a dream. For a simple half-a-day dream, the memory of those five years was too detailed, sad, cruel and horrible.
She patted her neck. She clearly remembered the pain of Carlâs cold blade cutting in and out of her throat as he downed the blade against her.
âMost of allâŚâ Sienna looked down at both her hands. âI can clearly remember the warmth of the times I held Joseph in my armsâŚâ
It was very clear to her when the little boy was crying, laughing and whining in her arms, and to think that was all a dream, Sienna couldnât believe it.
âBut this isnât like hellâŚâ
Sienna saw Chelsea holding the soup near the crowd by the fire. Chelsea could never have gone to hell, and the events were also too simple for hell. It was like she was in her past.
âWas it really a dream? Was it all a dream?â Sienna shook her head. The present might actually be the dream. âNo. Maybe, it would be more natural to think of this as the dream.â
Sienna grasped her cheeks with her finger and pinched them.
âUh-ugh!â
The tingling of the cheeks followed the action.
âMiss! What are you doing!â Chelsea, who had brought the soup, called out to Sienna in a scream.
âIt hurts⌠I guess this isnât a dream. Chelsea, I guess this isnât a dream. How is that possible?â
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Chelsea pointed at Siennaâs forehead with a dumbfounded expression.
âMiss, are you really not sick? Youâre going to leave a bruise on your cheeks. Why would you do that when itâs your first time entering the capital? What are you going to do if that leaves a scar? Making this old one heartbroken by itâŚâ Chelsea took Sienna back into the carriage and said, âFirst, eat this.â
Chelsea grabbed a spoonful of soup and stretched it to Sienna as if she were feeding a child. She fed it to Siennaâs mouth just like she would baby food. Sienna opened her mouth like a child and ate the soup she gave her.
The soup was very bland, but it was warm enough for it to soothe her stomach. Just like Chelsea had said, she felt like her mind started to clear when she took the soup into her stomach.
Above all, what was certain was that that reality was not a dream. Those vivid memories she retained had yet to happen.