âThis curry tastes real good.â\nKeiko-san is all smiles when asked for her opnion.\nâAh, quite so.â\nIn front of me the curry was served with beautifully done spade-shaped rice surrounded by the itâs roux. I was hungry and continued eating it but unfortunately I didnât feel much of the taste.\nâYou donât find it good?â\nIâve been immediately found out.
âSorry, usually Iâd find it delicious and just dig in butâŠâ\nâYouâve been holding your concerns right? If you feel like it we can eat another time.â\nâThank you very muchâ\nI was called out by Keiko-san this day in continuation of her invitation the other day.\nââŠâŠand with that said, although its peak has gone by. Doujin games are still going strongâ
Though I sometimes get confused, itâs still the year 2006 right now. Itâs Keiko-san says, a lot of star doujin games were born around this time. Around the early 2000âs with a slew of commercially successful doujins such as âTsukinohimeâ and âHigurashi when they sound outâ* being released, the doujin game market temporarily became the forefront of the otaku industry.Â
âMatsuribayashi-hen* came out recently right?â\nIf I remember correctly it came out this summerâŠ.so I took a guess.\nâYou got that right. It had an insane people lining up for it at Summer Comiket. I havenât been able to play it yet, Iâm interested in what happened after the massacre.â\n(TN- Tsukihime and Higurashi references. Matsuribayashi is the final arc in the series. And talk about spoilers)
Thank goodness, I didnât seem to be wrong.
âEven if we canât go up against that monstrous game, we managed to get out about 5000 copies. Thereâs a hefty profit to be made with games.\nI thought about how many copies we sold when I was in the business of manufacturing games back in 2016âŠâŠâŠ.It only made me sad remembering so I stopped.\n10 years ago was about the time when even physical copy sales were going well. Comparing it out of the question.\nâSo going back to topic, helping you is a littleâŠâŠ.â\nI give back my usual answer of it being impossible right now, I end up with just an apology even though it was a situation where I got a free meal out of it.
âItâs really fine yâknow. A junior should mooch off meals from their seniors after all.â
It feels odd being called that by someone who I can only see as someone younger than me.
âI almost forgot, I brought you a souvenir today.â
âSouvenir?â
âThe games we made. I havenât handed it to you yet right?â
As she says so, Keiko-san took out a number of dvd cases and placed it on top of the table. Itâs in what is known as a âTall Caseâ*. It was often use for the pricier doujin games.
(TN- basically the standard 14mm dvd case.)
âThatâs impressive. Itâs been properly publishedâ\nâThatâs a matter of course, Weâre very thorough on quality controlâ\nThe doujin games from these times are mainly CD-Rom games. It was a time when CD-Râs were out on the market. Most of the time it was personally burned and distributed, circles that produce a lot of copies however place orders at publishing companies.
âIt even has a proper theme song, it was recorded in a studio and everything.âÂ
âYouâre very particular about it.â\nâIâm taking this seriously after all. I donât want to create a dispassionate work that Iâll regret.â\nâThatâs right youâre taking it seriouslyâŠâ
âOf course I am. Taking creative work seriously is what makes it amusing.â
Keiko-san says as she puffs up her paltry chest.
âWhether itâs doujins or any business. Itâs exactly because of that seriousness when people band together to create things, the customers that sincerely seeks for it will respond in kind by consuming the product and relishing it all the way. Thatâs the most fascinating thing and the reason I canât stop making things.â\nBack when I was creating games I crossed paths with a lot of regretful things.\nCopromises, giving up, corner cuttings.\nThe more it piled up, the more the quality would simply fall.\nIf your seriousness is only words deep, the users would respond in kind.\nIf you donât put your heart into the product , no matter how much you mask it in in bells and whistles it will eventually reveal itself.Â
As is the case with Nanako, itâs an opportunity to think whether thereâs anything that could be done with being âSeriousâ\nâThen till next time then. Call me whenever you feel like it. Weâll do it over curry.â\nKeiko-san stands up and as customary says âCiaoâŠâ then goes off.\n----------------------------------\nÂ
When I returned to Sharehouse Kitayama Shinoaki and Tsurayuki were standing in front of the house.\nâHow did it go?â\nUpon hearing it both of them shook their heads
âSheâs definitely set on not coming out of her room. I called to her several times butâŠ.â\n Shinoaki says in a sad tone.\nâWe have no choice but to leave her alone for a while. She needs to take care of it herself.â\nTsurayuki with furrowed eybrows sighs.\nâI see, Leaving her alone would be for the best.â\nEver since that day, Nanako has completely shut herself in her room.\nShe still came out when it was time for part time job and lessons but she did so without talking to anyone and immediately comes back to her room.
âWhat a mess, That stuck-up Kawasegawa just had to go and do unnecessary things.â\nTsurayuki scratches his head and frowns.\nâShe just had to suddenly knock it out of the ball park with being frank, when we could have eased her in a little more slowlyâ\nâMaybe soâŠ..â
Kawasegawa really went too far. Even if it went against her own principles, I thought she wanted to consider it\nâButâŠ.me tooâ\nShinoaki interjects.\nâI also thought that Nanako wants to sing.â\nâShinoakiâŠ?â\nâI mean Nanako serious about it. Thatâs the reason why Kawasegawaâs words even hurt her.â\nTsurayuki nods at Shinoakiâs words.\nâIâm of the same opinion. What Kawasegawa did might have been too extreme but I honestly thought that Nanako became more serious when it came to songs.â\nâTsurayuki tooâŠ.â\nâShouldnât she need to eventually face it? Rather than regretting it down the line, it would be better to become serious about it soonerâ
Tsurayuki puts on his bike helmet and turned on the engine.\nâShe should try deciding on it, and if she happens to give up on it, she could quickly move on to the next one.â\nHe says so with a laissez-faire tone and goes out to his part-time work.\nThe sound of the exhaust and the dust that lingers fades out.\nThen in a small feeble but clear voice.
âYeah, I agreeâ\nShinoaki also nodded with an earnest expression.\n\nÂ
   \n====================\n\nâBoth of those guys really are true blue creatorsâŠ.â\nWhile laying down in my room I looked back upon the earlier exchange
Back then, I couldnât act heartless towards Nanako until the very end.\nThinking that somehow it would continue, somehow it would turn out well.\nBut for creators it never ends up well. Tsurayki and Shinoaki knows that and even Kawasegawa knew it too. Thatâs why she tried to force out Nanakoâs âseriousnessâ.\nâThatâs trueâŠ. This is Geidai after allâ\nTaking things seriously with peers, striving for things in earnest.\nThis was a place were people gather for a variety of reasons.\nFor better or for worse, the sharehouse we live in is a hodgepodge of unique personalities.Â
Immediately after entering this school, I was overwhelmed by their passion.\nIn contrast I was 28 year old god for nothing who worked for a game company, my days continued on unchanging.\nBut then I became conscious to the fact that I canât do anything so I talked to various people and I was able to find my own place and self-worth. No, I think itâs more apt to say that I got the chance to find it.\nWith just a little courage, and if you can take just a step forward you would be able to find the meaning of working with all your heart.\nBut Nanako didnât have that courage. So she hid her passions and buried it.\nâWhat can I do, how do I get Nanako to give it her all?â\nAt present her singing is still incomplete.
When she sang in front of others she was only laughed at as being off pitch. When it came to her volume and range it was praiseworthy, her lung capacity was astounding.\nHowever, she obstinately refuses to get professional lessons.\nâIf she gains a bit of confidence would she be able to changeâ
 I open the ROM I got from Keiko-san\nâAh, they were able to get CONOCONO on boardâŠâŠAmazingâ
CONOCONO was a singer that provided many professionals a great number of theme songs.\nI remembered him to be already extremely popular by this point in time.\nâI tried to get him on staff with our companyâs game but it didnât sit well with our budget.â\nWith no other choice, I offered the job to an acquaintance of the original artist as an in-between, but even that had its own set of obstacles.\nâI was surprised, I didnât think the songs uploaded at NicoNico had all their pitches alteredâŠâŠâ
When I tried out recording, the pitch was all over the place , the range was narrow, and the volume came out low, I remember having a huge amount of difficulty with it.\nAs a result of that I came back home with a sound synthesizer, it was a software to master the audio.
âI learned a lot about pitch adjustment and things about sound quality. In that sense I thank Mr. singer in that regard.â\n *ding* In my head, I put 2 and 2 together.\nâAhâŠ..â\nI quickly got up. I think calmly and organize my thoughts.\nNanako certainly is tone deaf, but her volume and range are great.\nI have some experience with post-processing, so Iâm confident in adjusting the sound quality.\nâT-this could be a chanceâŠâŠâ\nI scavenge my bag.\nIn it was an IC Recorder thatâs used to record Nanakoâs singing for practice.Â
And then with PC in handâŠ..\nThe sound production software from this era didnât have that much of a technical difference.\nâWho knew Iâd actually be thankful for this.â
---------------\n\nÂ
âNanakooo!â\n *Don don don*\nI pound on the door strongly.\nâThis is urgent, open up Nanako!â
After several knocks, the door slightly opened.\nââŠ.I donât want to talk anyone right now, sorryâ\nWith just that she tries to close the door.\nâDonât! Just a little, I only ask for a little of your time so pleaseâŠ..!â\nâNo! Even you should have understood it right? I have nothing. Itâs all clean and there is nothing leftâŠâŠI donât want to talk with anyone.â
I pleaded but only a strong feeling of resignation could be heard from the voice that leaked through the gap.
âI understand how you feel. But thatâs why I want to with you, about what you yourself have.â\nâYou donât understand! You have the ability to do lots of things. You can take care of everyday necessities and even  look after everyone, you can even prepare one step aheadâŠ.I absolutely donât know what a person like you can see in a hollow person like me.â\nâIt maybe so that I can do a lot of things.  So It may not even my place to say this butâ
I harken back to Shinoakiâs words.\nIf you have something, cling onto it. But if there was nothing, you just had to find something.
Right now Nanako might be searching for that something but ended up not finding anything so she locked herself up.  \n"Iâve found itâ\nâW-whatâŠ.?â\nâIâve found what youâve been looking for, so Iâll pass it on to you.â\nIâve brought the laptop from my room and laid it on the floor and aimed the speaker towards the thinly opened door.
âI wonât give upâ
I launched the media player via clicking on the file called auto-tuned.mp3\n âSay NanakoâŠ..do you like your own singing?â
ââŠ..Ha? You of all people, what are you talking about?â
Nanako raised her voice in a blatantly grouchy tone.\n âSorry. I know listening to me might be hard butâ\nI held my breath. I ruminate on the shock she experienced just a while back.\nâIâve been listening to it so I want Nanako to listen to it too. I wish for you to love your own singing and thatâs why.â\nI silently clicked the play button\nâI really want for you to sing againâââÂ
 The sound recorded by the IC recorder isnât  good as far as sound quality is concerned.\nTo be honest, normally listening to it would just produce a bunch of noise.\nHowever with the adjustments I made to the âmere karaoke recordingâ
ââŠâŠ.What is this?â\nNanakoâs tone changed instantly.Â
Even though I was the one who adjusted it earlier I unconsciously sit up straight as I listened in ecstasy at the altered sound.\nI Â donât know how many times I quivered during the process of studying and correcting her bad habits.
Masked in her tone deafness was a gem of a singing voice.\nNanako would surely regain her confidence if she listened to this.\nI truly believed in that so one way or another I adjusted the original sound and I visited her room.\nâThis isâŠ.. my own voice?â\n\nÂ