Perhaps because he sensed Fang Liās unease and avoidance, Xie Huai very considerately didnāt appear the next day.
Fang Liās emotions were extremely complicated.
He felt just like a prisoner on death row. He knew that sooner or later, the executionerās blade would fall, but as long as the date of his sentence hadnāt been set, he still harbored hopes that fortune would smile upon him, and that day would never comeā¦ā¦
After a long time, he laughed bitterly.
Since when had he become so hesitant and indecisive?
Butā¦ā¦
If he were really to bring things out into the open with Xie Huai, what if Xie Huai wanted something he couldnāt give?
Whenever he thought about how Xie Huai might feel pain or despair, Fang Li would immediately falter. He still wasnāt willing to hurt him. And moreover, he actually didnāt hate Xie Huaiās closenessā¦ā¦
When Fu Junling came over to pay Fang Li a visit, he only saw him sitting there in a daze, looking dispirited and emitting a melancholy air from his entire body. Immediately, Fu Junling felt a bit of heartache. Yesterday, Xie Huai had obviously looked angry.
Although he didnāt know why Xie Huai had been angry, bullying a fool wasnāt appropriate, was it?
At the beginning, Fu Junling had been accompanying Fang Li to play out of respect for Xie Huai, but after a period of interaction, he found the little fool pretty cute, and he was actually sincerely a bit worried for him right now.
He slowly stepped over, giving him a warm smile. āLetās go, Iāll take you to play outside.ā
Fang Li was a bit hesitant.
Fu Junling hadnāt hoped for a fool to be able to say much. He pulled Fang Li along and left, taking Fang Li to the seaside cliff in the mountains out back.
Fang Li stood at the edge of Hollow Ridgeās cliff. As far as his eyes could see was the endless expanse of the Fallen Star Sea, towering waves crashing and fierce gales howling. Back then, this was where heād fallen off the cliff, and he couldnāt help but fall into a daze for a moment.
At the time, he hadnāt once thought that the day would come when he would be back here again.
Heād thought that none of this would have anything to do with him anymore.
Fu Junling was afraid the strong gales would blow Fang Li away, and he set up an array to block out the wind. Then, he retrieved from his storage space some firewood, a rack, and so on.
Oh, was he preparing to have a barbeque out in the wilderness?
Fu Junling smiled a little and said, āWait a bit, let me catch a fish first.ā
Fang Li perked up a little bit of interest. Donāt mention it, but he actually missed the fish from the Fallen Star Sea a little. The flavor really was very fragrant, and you couldnāt find it anywhere elseā¦ā¦
To think that Fu Junling was actually in the mood for such idle entertainment. Not bad, not bad.
Coming out to get some fresh air was pretty nice, too. Fang Li sat there indolently, lifting his hand as he yawned.
Fu Junling was pretty decent at fishing. He attached the bait to the hook and cast the line far, far out in one toss. When the fish in the Fallen Star Sea smelled flesh, they immediately swarmed up in droves, and the fishing line was quickly pulled tautā
With a flick of his hand, Fu Junling hooked up a fish.
Fang Li looked at the sharp-toothed, gaping-mawed fish. Although the fish looked ferocious, it really was a bit stupid. As soon as it saw flesh, it would bite, so it was very easy to hookā¦ā¦
Fu Junling raised his eyebrows in a smile. āIāve heard that the fish in the Fallen Star Sea are extremely fragrant, and the flavor is first-class. Today, Iāll finally have a chance to try it.ā
He spread a piece of cloth on the ground, then neatly and tidily scaled the fish and put it on a skewer to roast over the fire.
Fu Junling was also someone who knew how to enjoy life. He sprinkled some spices and all kinds of seasoning on the fish, and not too long after, a fragrant aroma wafted up from the fire. Fang Liās eyes were fixed on the fish.
Although it hadnāt been too long since heād died and then returned, it felt like he hadnāt had it in ages.
Fu Junling took a look at Fang Liās impatient, wide-eyed expression and gave the fish straight to him, then fished himself up another one and began to roast it.
Fang Li lowered his eyes with satisfaction.
Fu Junling watched the young man eat with a satiated expression and laughed softly. Following that, he then sighed softly, suddenly saying, āThis was where that devil died.ā
Fang Liās movements paused for a moment. He knew Fu Junlingās words werenāt directed at him, but that he was talking to himself.
As expected, Fu Junling revealed a reminiscent expression, saying, āThe day that the Thousand Immortalsā Alliance attacked Hollow Ridge, I didnāt come. It was only later that I heard that when Xie Huai had been rescued, all of the meridians in his body had been severed, and it had almost been too late to save himā¦ā¦ā
Fang Liās chest became heavy.
Fu Junling let out a bitter laugh. āYou might not even believe me when I say that Iāve met the devil before, and at the time, heā¦ā¦ Actually wasnāt so terrible. And moreover, Xie Huai seemed to somewhatā¦ā¦ā
Fu Junling paused, then said a little uncertainly, āXie Huai seemed to like the devil.ā
Fang Li: āCough cough coughāā
He almost choked on a fish bone!
Fu Junling rushed to pat his back, then shook his head. āBut maybe it was just my misperception. The devil hurt Xie Huai that badly, how could Xie Huai still like him? Plus, if the devil had cared about him even a little bit, he wouldnāt have hurt him to that extent, and then left him all alone, donāt you think soā¦ā¦ā
Fu Junling paused, then laughed. āWhat am I saying these things to you for, itās not like you understand.
āBut itās good that the devil is dead. Only, Xie Huai still refuses to return. Iām afraid he still canāt let it go in his heartā¦ā¦ā Fu Junling let out a gloomy sigh.
Fang Li gripped the fish in his hand tightly. It was obviously extremely fragrant, yet it suddenly became hard to swallow.
Thatās right, it was good that heād died.
The plot was already over, and they shouldnāt have anything to do with each other anymore.
So, why did you have to find me again?
Regardless of whether it was Tao Lu, or Fu Junlingā¦ā¦
By Xie Huaiās side were friends who sincerely cared for him, yet because of himself, Xie Huai would rather keep watch over this place all alone.
He would be hard-pressed to escape the blame for Xie Huai becoming like this, but to him, this was truly a problem that was difficult to solveā¦ā¦
If he were to leave, would Xie Huai forget him and become like before?
Fang Li sat there blankly.
Xie Huai had come back from his trip down the ridge to buy food, but he didnāt find Fang Li in the residential palace. He circled around and finally saw Fang Li in the back mountains near the seaside cliff.
The young man was resting on a rock, his head lowered, emitting a solemn aura from his entire body, as if he might leave at any time.
Just like nine years ago.
Fang Li had also been sitting here like this, waiting for him.
He had come back half-alive after retrieving the Nine-Petaled Lotus, wanting to enter this endless hell together with him, yet Fang Li had only smiled at him, then used the love parasite to control him to kill himself.
That moment.
Was like a nightmare that was impossible to shake off.
Ever since then, heād never stepped foot onto the seaside cliff even once.
A dark red seemed to appear in the depths of Xie Huaiās eyes. That day, even after all the meridians in his body had been severed, he hadnāt been able to struggle free of his restraints. Even today, he couldnāt free himself.
It was he who had killed this person with his own hands.
It couldnāt be that youāre going to leave me yet again?
Are you that unwilling to stay by my side?
Before he himself had even come to his senses, Xie Huai had already stepped forward and grabbed hold of Fang Liās hand!
Fang Li was suddenly hauled up by Xie Huai, and the roast fish in his hand fell to the ground. He raised his head and met Xie Huaiās eyes, which faintly held a savage expression, as if theyād returned to that dayā¦ā¦
He couldnāt help but shiver.
Xie Huaiāwhat was up with him?
Fu Junling was also completely surprised, looking at Xie Huai with a frown.
Heād only brought Fang Li here to eat roast fish. Was Xie Huai going to get angry over even this? Heād never seen Xie Huai look so terrifying. Before, no matter when or where, this person had always been aloof and at ease, leaving no room for doubt that even facing death wouldnāt be enough to change the expression on his face.
But right now, Xie Huai looked like he was going to kill.
Fang Liās body had undergone the Dragon-Bone Body Forging Pill and was actually already very strong, but Xie Huaiās strength still caused his bones to crackle, as if he was going to be thoroughly crushed. His brow couldnāt help but crease in pain.
Fu Junling became anxious, worried that Xie Huai wouldnāt be able to control himself and would hurt Fang Li. He rushed forward to stop him. āDonāt be angry, I was the one who brought him hereā¦ā¦ā
Fu Junlingās voice clogged up. He saw Xie Huai turn his head to look at him, those eyes bone-cuttingly frigid.
Xie Huai said, word by word, āYou shouldnāt have brought him here.ā
Fu Junling knew Xie Huai had really gotten angry. He might have unwittingly touched a nerve of Xie Huaiās. Just why was this fool so important to him?
Although he didnāt understand, he still followed along with Xie Huai to say, āI was the one who was wrong. Hurry and let go, youāre hurting him.ā
Xie Huai lowered his eyes, and only then did he realize that Fang Li had a pained expression. His hand couldnāt help but loosen, and then he revealed a self-mocking smile.
He was the one whoād lost his composure.
But what about you, do you really not understand my feelings at all?
Or, do you not want to understand?
Xie Huai closed his eyes and simply dragged Fang Li away by the hand.
Fang Li was pushed by Xie Huai into his room.
If one were to say that yesterday, Xie Huai had only been a little bit unhappy, but had still been willing to patiently play games with him, then the Xie Huai of today was like a ferocious beast whoād already lost control, as if he wanted to rip him to shreds at every moment. The dense, raging emotions in his eyes were murky and unclear, yet made oneās heart beat wildlyā¦ā¦ Just like the day the love parasite had acted up, and Fang Li had suddenly barged into his territory. Only, at that time, Xie Huai had only had killing intent, but the Xie Huai right now seemed to hold more complicated feelingsā¦ā¦
Fang Li knew that right now, he had to keep steady.
He instinctively felt that Xie Huai was on the brink of losing control, his expression uneasy.
Xie Huai watched Fang Liās current appearance. What, so you can also feel fearā¦ā¦?
Since you can also feel fear.
Then why did you act so decisively back then?
Why did you insist on having me kill you with my own hands?
You thought it was for my own good, but did you ever ask my thoughts, did you ever ask me if I wanted you to do such a thingā¦ā¦
Did you ever ask me if I would rather have this meaningless reputation, or to fall into hell together with you, never to part?
After a long time, Xie Huai let out an extremely low, soft laugh.
He said in a slow, hoarse voice, āYour body has already recuperated now, but in order to truly completely recover, youāll have to cultivate to dissolve the spiritual power in your body. I have a method that can let even a fool cultivate normally.ā
Fang Li was a little startled. There was even a method like that?
Xie Huai gave him a profound look and said, enunciating each word, āDual cultivation. Even if you donāt understand anything at all, donāt do anything at all, youāll be able to cultivate without any obstructions.ā
Fang Liās entire body went stiff, goosebumps appearing on his skin, every hair on his body standing on end.
Dual cultivation was absolutely impossible!
That was his absolute limit!
He didnāt know whether Xie Huaiās words were true or false, whether they were for the sake of testing him, but he didnāt dare take the risk. How could he dual cultivate with Xie Huai?
Did he really have no choice but to lay his cards on the table?
That was just as well. Going on like this in such a vague manner wasnāt a solution. It would be better to say things clearly, and when the time came, Xie Huai could kill him or dice him as he pleased. Anyways, dual cultivation was impossible!
After Xie Huai spoke those words.
His gaze was fixed unblinkingly on Fang Liās eyes, not letting a single trace of emotion in his eyes escape him.
Sure enough, this was something Fang Li couldnāt accept.
It was also his limit.
Xie Huaiās mouth pulled in derision. At this point, this moment, there was no way for him to fool himself any longer, no way for him to escape the answer that heād vaguely sensed but had been unwilling to face ever since their reunion.
Which wasāperhaps Fang Li had never loved him.
If Fang Li loved him, he couldnāt possibly leave him alone to suffer pain and torment even while clearly being alive, unwilling to come back and see him even once.
If Fang Li loved him, he wouldnāt be unwilling to reveal his identity after heād been discovered, only wanting to leave him.
If you really loved someone, cared about someone.
How could you bear to see them suffer and be in pain, how could you want to leave them?
But if Fang Li didnāt love him, everything made sense.
Thinking about it now.
Even back then, Fang Li had never once said that he liked him.
Heād tied him to his side, yet had strictly maintained propriety, unwilling to cross the line. Not because Fang Li liked him, but because he didnāt like him.
Heād used the love parasite on him, yet had been unwilling for anything to happen between them, not because he was unwilling to cause Xie Huai grievance, but because to him, the love parasite had been a trick for the sake of controlling Xie Huai to kill him.
And during this period of time, it was impossible for Fang Li not to have sensed his feelings, but the closer he got, the more Fang Li wanted to avoid him.
Only if he didnāt feel love would he be like this.
So, everything had been his one-sided fantasy.
His own wishful thinking.
But even so, heād still fallen for him, finally giving away his whole heart.
To think that at this point, he was still unable to give up this person.
Only, the one thing that Xie Huai couldnāt understand was, if Fang Li had really had no feelings at all for him and hadnāt cared about him in the least, then why had he treated him like that?
Back then, heād trapped him by his side and had wanted Xie Huai to become his.
Fang Liās protection toward him and the kindness that heād occasionally exposed couldnāt have been a lie, and even when heād planned to die at the end, heād still thought about using his own life to clear Xie Huaiās name, wanting to die by his hand.
And it had been precisely these contradictions that had caused Xie Huai to become unable to extricate himself, finally falling in love with himā¦ā¦
But if everything you did wasnāt because you loved me.
Thenāwhat was it for?
But no matter what, no matter what Fang Liās real purpose had been, Xie Huai could never let go of this person again.
He couldnāt bear the pain of losing him once again.
Thinking about it now, the feelings that he hadnāt had time to speak aloud had been nothing more than a joke. If I were really to speak them, you would definitely leave without any hesitation, wouldnāt you?
Because thatās just the kind of person you are.
Appearing gentle and mild, carefree and indolent, as if you donāt care about anything at all. But in truth, no one has ever been able to change your mind about the things youāve decided.
The corner of Xie Huaiās lips pulled in self-mocking.
During this period of time, Fang Li had also been steeped in torment. He steeled his heart and was just about to lay his cards on the table, opening his mouth to speak, when he heard Xie Huai let out a soft, derisive laugh. Those black eyes held not a trace of warmth, glancing at him coldly. āBut, I wonāt dual cultivate with you. Iāll find another method to cure you.ā
Sure enough, that sentence had been for swindling him?
But he still felt a bit of hesitation in his heart. Although he felt extremely guilty toward Xie Huai, dragging things on like this wasnāt a solutionā¦ā¦
Xie Huai didnāt let slip a single fluctuation on Fang Liās face. Before he could open his mouth, Xie Huai said blandly, āDo you know what this place is?ā
Fang Li looked at him. Of course I know.
Xie Huaiās cold, gloomy eyes were fixed on him, and he said slowly, pausing after each word, āBefore, there was a devil who lived here. He was crafty and treacherous, and not a single word of truth came out of his mouth. He tricked me until I was running in circles, and if I were to learn that that devil hasnāt died, but has been living a carefree life, Iāll be sure to give him a fate worse than death and make him taste every single thing I went through.ā
Fang Li: āā¦ā¦ā
Forget it, forget it. Laying his cards on the table could wait for another day.
Another day!
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
The Author Has Something to Say:
Xie Huai: Since you donāt love me, why did you have to provoke me? A heartbreaker is bound to die a painful death!