It wasnât because Beneluciaâs actions were romantic or right.
It was very unpleasant for her to be dragged by her wrists so forcibly.
Nevertheless, she needed Benelucia.
It was the only way to get what she wanted.
So, she endured it.
However, Beneluciaâs behavior of injuring her and then treating her unwilling aroused antipathy within her, which she then suppressed. [T/N: antipathy means an aversion or a strong feeling of dislike.]
Harshly.
Senelia resolutely slapped Beneluciaâs hand that held her away.
It was an act that even she was unaware of.
Senelia, realizing her impulsive action, shut her mouth firmly and spoke out a second later.
ââŠIf you do not have anything else to say to me, Iâll just leave.â
Senelia turned her back on Benelucia.
To her, he was a Grand Duke, and she knew exhaustively that she had to be polite to the end, and to when to draw the line.
However, I donât want to do this. Iâm terribly tired after that meeting with Cliff yesterday and now wrestling with Benelucia today.
âWait, Sally.â
Benelucia recaptured Senelia.
Unlike before, it was a cautious touch.
Come to think of it, she had never taken care of herself, so he had to be careful.
âAre you in need of someone to marry?â
Senelia felt her expression harden at Beneluciaâs sudden question.
She couldnât help it but feel so with her twisted heart.
That the Benelucia Afron was talking about marriage.
âŠUntil now, there no mention of an engagement, let alone a marriage.
How could she not be angry?
Senelia had long passed the age of marriage. Yenelov was of marriable age.
So, it wasnât unreasonable for Benelucia to draw that conclusion.
But at least, Seneliaâs marriage age wasnât something he could ask about as if just a passing by.
ââŠDid the Viscountâs urge you again?â
When Senelia remained silent, Benelucia continued.
Her body trembled.
I didnât know he would even know about that.
As Senelia had approached the middle of her marriageable age, the Viscount and Viscountess had mentioned a word about marriage to her every time.
At first, they too, had held a small hope that the Archduke would take up their daughter in marriage, but when nothing came of it, they had given up.
Nevertheless, Senelia became angry when she upset when she stayed at the Grand Dukeâs residency without getting engaged, let alone married, until she passed the age of marriage.
And like any child, she didnât want her parents to learn to resign to it instead of having any expectations.
ââŠDid you know?â
Seneliaâs voice was subtly enraged.
Even if she remembered her past life, it was the Viscount couple who had raised her and loved her until now.
Now her family was the Daphnen family.
Even while watching the process of their disappointment grow, Senelia had never told Benelucia to get engaged or married.
He also didnât say anything about it either.
It was so that it didnât look as if she wanted something from him.
She wasnât the only one who had endured the years Senelia spent with the duke.
But it seemed as if Benelucia had been aware of the facts. Her heart couldnât take the truth.
ââŠYes.â
At Seneliaâs question, Benelucia had bit his lip for a moment.
But in the end, he had no choice but to nod his head and admit.
At that moment, Seneliaâs mood plummeted.
âSince when?â
She didnât even realize that she was now talking to him as though she was interrogating him.
ââŠIf their children were not even engaged by the time they had reached marriable age, the parents would be worried.â
Benelucia refused to meet her gaze.
He didnât specify, but it meant he knew for a while.
Senelia was amazed.
I donât know what to say.
Then, the duke continued to speak as if he was making excuses.
âBut Sally, I waited for you to speak to me about this, but you hadnât said a word.â
To Senelia, Beneluciaâs words sounded as if he was blaming herself for being silent.
You acted so ignorantly, and now you come and blame me.
She couldnât hold back and immediately retorted.
âIf I did, could Your Majesty have done anything for me?â
It was funny.
Had she told him about it, Senelia would have been cut off from Benelucia.
She was sure of it.
âYes, of courseâŠâ
So, for the first time, Senelia interrupted Benelucia and her words flowed out like vomit.
âOf course, there would have been nothing.â
And for the first time, she spoke to the grand duke as if sarcastically.
âNo wayâŠ!â
Benelucia tried to refute her, but Senelia did not listen to what he had to say this time.
âIt could be. Your Majesty the Grand Duke still only loves one person, right?â
The second Senelia spoke those words, Beneluciaâs complexion changed drastically.
In short, it was clear for anyone to see.
She smiled as if accomplished.
What are you going to do with this topic?
âShut up, Sally.â
Benelucia warned her.
But Senelia ignored his warning.
The possibility that her current actions may in fact ruin all of her progress did not come to mind.
She hated him, who neglected not only hers, but also her parentâs suffering.
I hate it so much! It feels as if my entire body is being torn into pieces from the inside out.
So, Senelia couldnât stand still without having her say.
âLucalina Elihan. Thatâs the person who resides in the Grand Dukeâs heart, so how dare I ask His Majesty to marry me?â
Senelia spat Lucalinaâs name from her lips.
âI know my place, My Lord.â
It all felt so twisted.
Grind.
She could hear teeth being ground.
For a long time, the name of Lucalina was a taboo for Benelucia.
She was the only reason that stopped the emperor when he had sent a young boy into battle.
In return, Lucalina had also being thrown into the battlefield from an early age.
At the time, Cliff had spilt countless blood in order to ascend to the throne, so no one wanted to step in and stop his decision.
Benelucia had then given Lucalina his love for a lifetime.
But Senelia had now spoken of that name.
âIf I had known that you would so quickly switch from me to Young Lord Pendragon just so that you can get married, then I wouldnât have minded if you had left right away.â
Benelucia spoke out sharply.
It was words uttered by a person used intentionally to stab as a vice and thoroughly injure the opponent.
âYes. I know. I was foolishly attached.â
But Senelia did not allow herself to lose.
It was natural.
Just because one more blade stabbed into her already tattered heart, she wouldnât let it show.
âIâm not really blaming the Grand Duke. Iâve never held onto any expectations from you in the first place.â
Senelia, who had already masterfully hidden her expression, replied in her usual calm tone.
Because I know it is easier to hide my feelings to not upset people further.
Because Senelia was the one who had to suffer from the emperor every single time.
ââŠHa. Yes, you never did ask me for anything. Never.â
Beneluciaâs words were spat out at Senelia.
Her intentions were completed successfully.
Because Benelucia now felt dirty.
He couldnât gauge how much Senelia knew about Lucalina.
It was only at that moment in time that he had found out that she even cared about Lucalina.
Senelia had never told her story for eight years.
So, he just couldnât tell.
When Senelia had finally made him aware, Benelucia felt dirty.
Ever since Seneliaâs departure from his Duke Afron residency, he came discovered something.
It was the fact that Senelia knew him even better than he had originally thought.
But compared to that fact, he didnât know even half of what made Senelia, well, Senelia.
From the first time, he knew nothing else about her other than her smiling silently at his side, nodding her head, and answering only when asked questions.
âYes, so donât worry Your Majesty. Even if I want to desperately marry you, as Your Majesty said, I should never bother you with it.â
Senelia said, bluntly.
Even if she couldnât hurt Benelucia as he didnât love her, she at least hoped that he would feels as bad as she felt right now.
ââŠIf not meâŠ?â
When he had first mentioned Yenelov Pendragon, when she had said that he wasnât the only one, Beneluciaâs feelings plummeted deeper and deeper.
âAccording to Your Majestyâs words, I may switch to the Pendragonâs Young Lord.â
Seneliaâs provocation, which was words taken directly from Beneluciaâs own mouth, worked perfectly.
âSally!â
Someone other himself standing next to Senelia.
The second he imagined it, Benelucia raised his voice at her without even realizing it.
âI am sorry You Majesty, but I can no longer call you by your nickname. Nor do I have any desire to call you such. So please, stop calling me like that.â
We have no relationship, so letâs not call each other by those nicknames.
That was what Senelia meant.
At that moment, Benelucia rushed to speak, forgetting why he had been angry up to now.
âItâs okay if you marry me, right?â
On the contrary, those words completely messed up Seneliaâs heart, causing it to thump violently.
For a split moment, her neck felt sore. She forcibly swallowed and barely made any sound.