Ch25 - Gazebo

Warning for NSFW dubcon ahead! The most explicit sections will be hidden as appropriate under spoiler tags.

“Xie zhenren, Nie Ting has long admired you.”

When Nie Ting’s voice emerged from Black Lotus, Xie Zhiwei didn’t know how to keep up the act.

This torch is too hot to hold, okay?!

He knew the other was a ghost, but had to pretend he didn’t and still act out the proper response of a high-level figure seeing a ghost for the first time. After some painstaking thought, he settled on a mildly surprised expression and said, “Your Excellency must be joking. As far as I know, Sect Leader Nie of Ashen Cloud Sword Sect passed away a few years ago.”

Nie Ting was bent on revenge and didn’t waste words. “Three days and three nights won’t be enough for me to explain it all. If you can help me today, I promise not to hurt your disciple.”

Xie Zhiwei inwardly sneered. This damn ghost is asking for help but acting like a boss. Go ahead, ah. I’ll count it as your win if you kill off the hero. Of course, these words were better kept to himself. Next came a worried expression and lines to match.

“This surnamed Xie will certainly try to fulfill Sect Leader Nie’s last wish. But my disciple is still young, so I ask that you spare him.”

Due to Xie Zhiwei’s disruption of the plot, the reborn Mu He was on slightly closer terms with Nie Ting. The original Nie Ting had even tormented Mu He a few times for flirting too much instead of taking revenge, leaving the two in a purely contractual relationship. The current Mu He could occasionally confide in Nie Ting about his bitter feelings regarding Xie Zhiwei. Over time, Nie Ting also learned to perfunctorily comfort him now and then.

Thus, Mu He was fully aware that Nie Ting was just bluffing with his threats. Still, he was deeply touched by Xie Zhiwei’s concern over his safety and even wished that Nie Ting could actually abuse him half to death so he could seek comfort in shizun’s arms.

However, Nie Ting was a coarse, martial-arts type who didn’t understand the finer points of Mu He’s feelings. He simply said, “I want to kill Shen You and Ming Kong with my own hands.”

Xie Zhiwei frowned slightly. “Although this surnamed Xie cannot bear to see fellow disciples fight each other, there must be a reason for this all. It will also allow us to save the other guests, so I suppose there’s no other choice.”

“It’s fine as long as you agree to help. Don’t be so sentimental.” It felt like there were two eyes scrutinizing Xie Zhiwei with dissastifaction from the floating black lotus. “He’s just some skinny man, what is that brat thinking—”

Mu He coughed to drown out the rest of Nie Ting’s words.

Sentimental? If laozi wasn’t afraid of OOC, I’d beat your soul to shreds! A pure man isn’t a pussy just because he doesn’t attack!

Xie Zhiwei endured his urge to rage and asked Mu He, “Disciple, what’s wrong?”

Mu He straightened up and declared, “Nothing, nothing. Disciple just sucked in some cold air. Right now revenge and rescue are both imminent, so Senior might as well discuss a plan with shizun.”

—

One shichen later, Xie Zhiwei calmly rode his sword back to Ashen Cloud Sword Sect. He glanced at Mu He behind him—rather, at Black Lotus floating above the teen’s forehead—and said, “Since Sect Leader Nie’s spiritual power is weak, why not return to my disciple’s consciousness first? You can temporarily hand over matters to this master and disciple.”

Having a flower on his forehead is really affecting the hero’s fierce image.

“Shizun is right,” Mu He said after some thought. “Although shizun has given Senior enough spiritual power to take on human form, it’s best if Senior saves it until the very end. Otherwise, you’ll need more if you use it up now.”

Nie Ting didn’t reply for a while.

“Senior?” Mu He called out.

At last the Black Lotus began to fold up its petals one by one while Nie Ting grumbled back, “You certainly dote on him.”

Xie Zhiwei was pleased and nodded. “This surnamed Xie’s disciple has always been well-behaved.” Looks like this damned ghost Nie Ting really treats Mu He badly. Otherwise, why would Mu He listen to me over the guy who won him over first? I’m so moved!

I can’t believe the hero can act like a little white bunny and even treat me better than the heroine. I wonder what he’ll be like when he blackens more later.

He hoped that his powerful wis(act)dom(ing) would preserve even a smidgen of the hero’s current filial heart.

While Xie Zhiwei was filled with emotions, Mu He was quite relaxed during their trip. At last he had spilled his secrets in front of Xie Zhiwei. Still, he wondered if his master would be disappointed after he killed off Bai Jianzhu and Bai Yu in revenge.

His heart sank at the thought.

Their journey was unexpectedly silent as they landed in front of the main hall once again. The crowded venue was now completely empty besides a few candle remnants burning quietly in the lanterns. Even the banquet had been cleared away.

“I can’t believe he moved so many people so soon,” Xie Zhiwei was solemn.

Nie Ting’s voice came out of Black Lotus, “Go to Peihua Manor. I’ll lead the way.”

Xie Zhiwei led Mu He with him to follow Nie Ting’s directions. Eventually, they ended up on a small, secluded path that led to the same spot where Shen You had slaughtered those two disciples earlier today.

Nie Ting said, “Peihua Manor is hidden behind the mountain. Normal disciples aren’t aware of its existence. Those two children today were rather unlucky.”

Xie Zhiwei nodded. “So Sect Leader Shen treasures peace and quiet as much as this poor daoist. Even his living quarters are hard to find.”

Nie Ting snorted.

Xie Zhiwei couldn’t help but recall the shabby Suihan Lodge which was basically a thatched hut in the middle of a bamboo grove. “Peihua Manor” at least sounded impressive, like some sort of secret villa. We’re both soy sauce characters, so how come Shen You has it better?!

Mu He followed Nie Ting’s pointers to rap at some raised rocks on boulder face. “Shizun,” he muttered. “It’s right here.” Then he circled around and entered a tunnel. Xie Zhiwei walked close behind as they traveled a wet, slippery, secret passage underground. Around them were multiple sources of ice cold spring water dripping from the rocks. About half a stick of incense’s worth of time later, they finally reached the end, but Mu He halted before they left the exit.

“Why did you stop?” Xie Zhiwei asked and pushed him slightly, then squeezed out past him.

Then both of them sucked in a breath.

—

Outside the cave was a ground covered in high-quality orchids whose fragrance assaulted their nostrils. But more shocking than this was the gazebo ahead beneath some trees. Two figures were embracing each other tightly. One of them was actually Ming Kong, who pressed the figure in white before him against a corner of the gazebo and blocked their face.

It was clear that Ming Kong was moving rather roughly, for the white robed figure had multiple large tears in their clothing. The exposed skin beneath was riddled with red marks from his pinching. Still Ming Kong felt it wasn’t enough and began to nibble at the person’s neck, leaving a wreckage of marks in his wake.

“It hurts a lot, right? Cry out,” he said while turning the other’s face as if he wanted to eat him up. His kisses were frantic and crazed.

The other said nothing as if it wasn’t their body at all.

Xie Zhiwei was absolutely dumbfounded. Sh*t, what kind of battle is this?! Ming Kong didn’t look like a good egg from the start, but he really knew how to play! Tsk tsk tsk, this position’s pretty old-fashioned, but the ‘hazy beauty beneath the moonlit flowers’ is still beautiful, ah. After all this time they still couldn’t see the woman’s face, leaving much up to imagination.

The girl could take a lot too. She didn’t even make a sound. That won’t do. You need audio and visuals to sell tickets to an audience. For example, the original s*x scenes in the novel.

Gallant Outlaw must have watched quite a few flicks in his time, because he always had strange, novel positions and vivid descriptions. At the critical moments there were always “uh, uhs” and “ah, ahs” to round up the scenes and get a man’s blood pumping.

Despite these minor flaws, Xie Zhiwei was quite satisfied. Wasn’t the hero turning emotionless? This might finally awaken his bed skills. He stole a peek at the boy but only saw his disciple staring at him with an inscrutable look in his eyes.

Weird reaction. Why are you looking at me? Am I more attractive than the livestream over there?

Abruptly, Xie Zhiwei sensed he’d made a massive error. The original Xie Zhiwei had a pure heart and few desires while never competing with the world. How could he spy on others’ lovemaking with such relish!?

As expected of the meticulously-minded hero. He must have been getting suspicious.

Xie Zhiwei coughed and switched to a puzzled look before turning back to the make-out couple. After a while, he said sternly, “Sect Leader Nie, this surnamed Xie has been observing for awhile and senses that something is amiss.”

No one answered from Black Lotus.

Meanwhile, Ming Kong’s movements grew faster and fiercer. The tree branch covering the other figure’s face swayed and rocked violently, scattered peach blossoms like snowflakes over the pair.

Mu He hadn’t felt anything at first until he inadvertently saw the red marks of the white-robed figure. When he imagined such marks on Xie Zhiwei’s body instead, his face immediately flushed.

If…I could do that to shizun’s body one day, I’d feel complete. At this, he couldn’t help reaching out towards Xie Zhiwei. The latter was still waiting for Nie Ting’s answer when his wrist was suddenly caught in a tight grip. He looked down and saw Mu He bowing his head, eyes fixated on his wrist.

“What are you doing?” Xie Zhiwei asked.

Mu He hastily let go and looked up. He felt his soul scatter when faced with Xie Zhiwei’s perfectly serious face, but quickly calmed down and switched to a panicked expression. “Shizun, Elder Ming Kong is acting so strangely. Shizun said it looked wrong too…so disciple is a little worried…”

Xie Zhiwei’s mouth twitched.

I see. So the hero isn’t emotionless, but an innocent boy. Are you serious? This is a stallion novel. Someone knock some sense into him, ah!

Wanting to cry but having no tears, Xie Zhiwei could only pat his shoulder and continue to make things up. “Master only felt that the other person looked familiar.”

“Indeed, very familiar,” Nie Ting observed in hindsight. “Haven’t you two just met?”

However, his tone was incomparably cold.

“Just met?” Xie Zhiwei thought back. “This surnamed Xie really has no impression of a woman in white.”

“Woman?” Nie Ting enunciated. His abnormal emotions chilled Mu He’s consciousness into an icy frost.

Looks like this is more than a simple case of Ming Kong cheating with a girl.

Mu He stared at the gazebo a few more times before inhaling sharply. He turned to Xie Zhiwei and said, “Shizun, that figure in white…isn’t female.”

Xie Zhiwei was still processing things. “Not a woman?” He subconsciously looked back. By now the two figures had stopped moving. Ming Kong exhaled in satisfaction as he picked up the person in his arms and kissed their face a few times.

“I always can’t control myself. Sorry, Lanxiu.”

Lanxiu? Why does that sound familiar?

Xie Zhiwei thought back hard before he felt unwell all over.

….w-w-w-what the hell!!!!

…isn’t “Lanxiu” Shen You’s courtesy name?!

At the same time the white-robed figure was pulled out from the shade of peach blossoms, his face resting against Ming Kong’s chest. Though his hair was disheveled, robes torn, and posture caught in an ambiguous position, that face remained as expressionless as ever.

Translator’s Note: Ehem, with that behind us, congrats to reaching the end of the April Fools’ releases. No tricks today, just a special treat: please enjoy my attempts at an English sub of “Zhiwei,” a Too Bad Master Died Early fan song made into an MV!

The lyrics will contain vague story spoilers, so proceed with caution. 🙂 Most likely I’ll refine them a bit more as we go thru the novel, but see if you can spot this story arc ref in the lyrics today! XD

I’ll add the YT link to the Table of Contents page tomorrow!