Ch50 - Gravedigging

A rainy night.

The thorny bamboo grove had been drenched all day as it swayed in the blistering winds. Pearls of water dripped from the leaves. Dark clouds covered the night as all of Summit City stood in blackness without a hint of light, akin to the depths of an empty graveyard.

In fact, there really was a lonely grave beneath a willow tree in the corner of the realm. It had been newly repaired and completely weeded. Even the tombstone was wiped spotless.

Chu Zhishi slowly rose in front of the monument as rain fell thickly around him, though spiritual power bounced the droplets away from his body. He stood sullenly until a flash of lightning made him look up at the name engraved on stone.

“Second senior brother, I’ll come visit again when I have time.”

Distant flashes streaked against the skies above the willow tree, illuminating the words on the stele:

—Tomb of Bixu zhenren Xie Zhiwei.

The knife-cut characters had been worn round and seemed some years old.

As Chu Zhishi’s swordflying figure vanished into the rain, someone else finally exhaled in relief.

Seven chi underground, Old Du (老杜) had been turtle breathing the entire day. He glanced below him with a pounding heart. “Mother, he nagged at a dead man for a day. This city lord of Heavenly Sun City must be stupid to really think the soul of the dead can return on his death anniversary. We were almost exposed.”

By his side, a second man began to dig with his shovel. “It’s not all bad. Today the daoist sect is commemorating Bixu zhenren’s death anniversary and the weather’s awful, so they won’t be keeping an eye on this place.”

“I have no idea how many people wanted to break in here in the past four years. But we’re the first to get this far. I say, Maozi, we’ll be able to live happily for a while after this job,” Old Du rubbed his hands together in excitement.

Maozi (毛子) buried his head in digging as he spoke. “We have three more chi before we reach the tomb. It won’t be too late to celebrate after getting the reward money.”

“Come on.”

The two of them were expert gravediggers who bought a house near Yujing Sect. It was their hideout during the day while they spent time digging a tunnel to the Summit City city lord’s grave. After a year’s worth of work, they would finish tonight.

Once the last shovel of black soil was shifted aside, a small chamber appeared before them. Surveying the plain, ordinary coffin, Maozi paused cautiously. “This Xie zhenren was very powerful when he was alive. Will his ghost be extra ferocious?”

Old Du’s eyes glinted with greed as if he had a hundred million coin bounty in his hands. Gulping, he said carelessly, “What nonsense. If he could return as a spirit, why didn’t he greet Chu Zhishi when the man was sitting here all day?”

“True enough. We’ll just need to avoid the living hunting us down after this.”

“The living?” Old Du was unimpressed. “If the daoist sect can’t detect us now, there’s no evidence to pin on us later. Our sponsor isn’t easy to mess with.”

“But Xie Zhiwei’s disciple is the King of Nine Provinces’  Shizi and even harder to deal with.”

“Come on, that Shizi’s enjoying himself somewhere else right now. He hasn’t stepped foot in the daoist sect once in the past four years. Probably forgot this shitty place.”

The two had no more scruples and focused their attention on the coffin said to contain the body of Black and White Lotuses’ owner. Old Du sat atop the coffin to pull out the rivets one by one, while Maozi squatted on the ground to make a fire. Their tomb robbing experiences gave them adequate night vision, but they still lit up some ash wood to burn in a corner.

After Old Du pulled out the nails, he leaped off and felt better after seeing the fire burning vigorously. Then he pulled off the outer coffin lid while lamenting its owner. “This Xie Zhiwei’s death was really a loss. If he was still alive, he’d probably be the most powerful man in the world. But to think he was poisoned to death with the killers still missing, what happened ah.”

“Right? Too stifling.” Maozi was very respectful of their subject as he added submissively, “Xie zhenren, we humble ones need to make a living. Please don’t blame us for the crime, I’ll burn you more paper money later.”

Old Du dealt with the outer coffin and started to pull the nails on the inner lid, suddenly amused. “Look at you stuffing money to the dead before getting any for yourself.”

“Tsk, don’t say nonsense.”

“You’re just a coward,” Old Du scoffed as he tossed the last nail aside and slapped the lid. “Didn’t even check if the guy inside can hear you.” As he spoke, he suddenly grew mischievous and smacked the lid harder. “Hey, hear that old fellow?”

The crypt was already dull and silent, but the abrupt sound made their surroundings seem even quieter. Old Du knocked on the coffin again, feeling smug. Maozi walked over with pursed lips and helped him lift the cover without hesitation.

Only then did they hear someone answer from below, “Uh-huh, I heard you.”

The person seemed to have woken from a long and sound sleep, because his voice was low and raspy, like a sword blade slowly drawn from a rusty scabbard. Old Du sucked in a cold breath before he froze. The ash wood fire flickered and only reflected two figures against the wall.

“Maozi,” he asked doubtfully, “Was that you talking just now?”

Maozi shook his head with difficulty, his face pale. “N-no, it wasn’t me ah…”

They were a boy and old man, but the one who spoke before sounded like a young man…

The two exchanged widening stares as sweat broke out on their backs. At the same time, they happened to look at the coffin lid beneath them. In a flash, the cover moved as if someone was pushing it from inside.

Maozi shrieked and retracted his hand.

“Hold it down!” Old Du was more experienced and guessed this must be a fake corpse. But the movement intensified as the person insisted on lifting the lid.

Maozi was half sprawled over the lid, panting with exertion. “I can’t hold down the coffin lid…what do we do?”

Old Du’s face sank before he dug out a black donkey’s hoof from his robes. If the “thing” inside charged out, he’d use this to greet it. But before he could get ready, the “thing” inside grew impatient and pushed the lid off instantly. The inside seemed to be filled with liquid, which ended up splashing in all directions from the action.

The flames of the ash wood guttered out.

Out of ideas, the two men screamed in the darkness and assumed they’d die right here and now. A gust of cold wind slipped past them, along with what seemed to be a damp figure. Old Du and Maozi panicked and scurried away but kept running into the walls and each other. For a while, they couldn’t find the exit at all.

Maozi was crying. “Xie zhenren, Grandpa Xie, Great God Xie! Spare us, ah…”

His cries actually calmed Old Du down. “Don’t panic, see? It’s stopped moving.”

Maozi listened. It was true, the strange wind and figure had both banished. He wiped his eyes and bolstered his courage to approach the coffin again. The inside was filled with nothing but water.

The body had disappeared.

Old Du muffled Maozi’s mouth before he screamed again and looked around, but saw nothing. Traces of water trailed from the edge of the coffin to the tunnels they’d excavated. Eyes widening, Old Du told Maozi, “Th, the body, r-ran away…”

Maozi nodded furiously as his eyes grew even wider.

After a year’s hard work, they saw their hundred million bounty disappear in vain. Not only that, their sponsor wouldn’t forgive them for the loss.

Maozi pried Old Du’s hands off and wailed, “Old Du, what do we do ah? Is Xie zhenren dead or alive?”

Old Du wanted to say they should search, but stopped upon studying the water marks at their feet. Their future was uncertain. If Xie zhenren was a dead man who turned into a murderous corpse, was it worth a hundred million bounty to risk their lives? It’d be even more dangerous if the man was actually alive. With such secrets on his body, he couldn’t let anyone know he’d survived. Suppose he silenced them through murder…

But he still didn’t want to give up a year’s worth of work in vain.

Old Du began to fret. He circled around the coffin multiple times before stopping at the sight of the crystal-bright waters inside. Steeling his nerve, he dipped some of the liquid with his fingers.

Maozi stared at him. “Is…is it not just ordinary water?”

Old Du didn’t answer beyond raising his fingers for a hearty sniff. Soon his brows relaxed. “This seems to be…”

—

The rain was still falling but tapering off as a figure pushed open a door and looked out, eyes a little dazed.

“Strange…I didn’t touch the rain, so why am I soaked?”

He stepped back to think things over in the house, but tripped over the threshold until the back of his head collided with the aqua brick floor.

“AHH…f**king crap!”

Ding!

A screeching alarm rang in his head, jolting him to sit up.

“Reminder, cursing does not fit the character settings of Xie Zhiwei. You are banned from speaking for one day.”

“Hey, wait just a—” Xie Zhiwei’s lips sealed mid-sentence as if they were glued together. He was always giving others restriction spells, but now had to eat his own medicine. At the same time, his muddled memory finally sorted itself out.

Too late to care about anything else, he scavenged around the little hut and found two sets of clothes and some silver. On his way out, he also grabbed the oil-paper umbrella leaning against the foot of the bed. Braving the rain, he ran wildly until he left the village behind before soberly turning on the System.

Gallant Outlaw yawned as he came online. “Idol, you’re awake. Feeling great after sleeping so long?”

Xie Zhiwei laughed coldly as he replied back, “Great? What great? How about you try Bai Jianzhu’s poison too?”

“Hey hey hey hey, Idol, you don’t need to share all the nice things.”

Xie Zhiwei gritted his teeth. “If you wrote about the tragic effects of this poison earlier in the story, laozi would never have accepted this plot! I thought I just needed to act, but I actually died for real. Your grandpa, where was the spiritual spring you promised?!”

—

Translator’s Note: Annnnd he’s back! Just to clear things up (because author never explained this explicitly): whenever Xie Zhiwei uses the System, time stops in the novel world so no one can hear him interact with Gallant Outlaw. This is also why he can still “speak” after getting speech restrictions from the System: its rules don’t apply to him outside the story in System mode.