He Zhao took the mock exam. Out of habit, he glanced over the paper from start to finish and got a general sense of the difficulty before he started writing. He began drafting a solution in the blank space.
His mind was in disarray and his handwriting was unsteady too.
He sat on the first step of the flight of ascending stairs while Xie Yu sat in the corner of the bend in the stairwell. They sat face to face, one higher and one lower.
While drafting his answers, He Zhao remembered what he had said to Xie Yu under the alias âQuestion King.â
None of it was very polite.
He Zhao was very distracted. His pen moved over the thin paper, writing down the square root of 2, then stopped. Ink gradually spread out from where the nib met paper, and as He Zhao stared at the spreading black ink blob, he thought about the most dastardly thing he had said. He said it aloud now: ââŚIâll give you a three-question head start.â
Xie Yu still hadnât removed his hood. He had also lowered his head, so from He Zhaoâs position he could only see Xie Yuâs nose and chin. His mouth was set in a thin line and he didnât seem to be in a good mood.
How could his mood possibly be good?
Xie Yu squeezed the pen in his hand. It actually seemed more likely that he would meet this idiot in a dream. Perhaps this really was a dream.
Xie Yu slowly exhaled on his question paper. âAll right, give me the headstart. Then Iâll give you a ten-question headstart.â
He Zhao: ââŚâŚâ
The two last-places-in-the-year, who slept in class or played phone games, who dragged Class 3âs average grades so far down that every subject teacher was a step away from jumping off a cliff, who never even knew which page of the textbook they were going through in classâwere now sitting in the stairwell trashtalking each other.
In school, their most frequent conversation was, âWhich question is the teacher going over?â âDonât know.â âDo you know how to do this question?â âNope.â âPhew, you donât know, either. Did you finish copying the homework?â
Now, after the trash talk, even Xie Yu felt shocked.
He had looked through the Best of the College Exams He Zhao had brought, and all the mock papers looked about equally difficult, so he tore a set out at random. He glanced at the time, then tossed his phone to the floor.
Half an hour. They stopped writing around 11 a.m.
Since Xie Yu had still not seen He Zhaoâs answers, he remained suspicious. Even though an inexplicable notion was currently bubbling up in his mind.
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He Zhao did two questions, emotions still in disarray.
He held his pen, knuckles jutting out. He stared at his terrible, shaky handwriting. Then, still dazed, he switched his pen to his left hand.
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When Xie Yu finished writing, it was not yet 11 a.m. He glanced up and saw the idiot on the steps had also just stopped writing. He Zhao put his paper on his knee and looked at Xie Yu.
They stared at each other quietly for a while.
Xie Yu went to sit on the step too, taking the mock paper with him. He reached out for the paper on He Zhaoâs knee, but He Zhao held it in place with one hand, then caught hold of Xie Yuâs hand with the other. He said quietly, âCan you⌠let me off this once?â
âWerenât you so sure of yourself?â Xie Yu said, pulling the paper out little by little from underneath He Zhaoâs hand. He got it halfway out, then couldnât pull it any further. He said, âLet go.â
Xie Yu was still internally thinking this was impossible, but upon seeing the paper⌠he was speechless.
The first few lines were written in ugly handwriting, but the rest of it⌠the handwriting was still messy, but in a sharp, imposing manner. Firm, and beautiful in an unrestrained way. They could have been written by a completely different person than had written the first few lines.
Xie Yu wasnât sure what to say. He flipped the page and looked again to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him.
âIâm left-handed.â He Zhao explained a little nervously. âAlthough I write fine with my right hand, too. The styleâs just a little different. Iâm much more bold and carefree when I write with my leftâŚâ
Since a young age, He Zhao had found it easier to use his left hand, but his parents had made him train his right hand, thinking it would be easier to correct him while he was young. Time went on, and his lefty tendencies remained unobtrusive.
âCorrection. Youâre much more dogshit.â
Xie Yu thought, since he dares call himself Question King, itâs not that surprising that his handwriting is nicer, too. Professionalism. Heâs living up to his handle completely. But Xie Yu was still annoyed for some reason he didnât understand. He continued, âI donât think you understand what âbold and carefreeâ means.â
Half an hour was not much time to answer questions. He Zhao had condensed his answers and completed three steps in one. He only used half the available space to answer the questionâhe had calculated the answer in his working area, then put a circle around it and called it a solution.
Xie Yu started examining the paper, starting with the first question, all the way through to the end. Aside from the final question, on which He Zhao had dropped a decimal point, there were no mistakes.
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He Zhao was looking at Xie Yuâs paper, too.
He glanced it over and saw that his boyfriend had really left the first ten questions blank.
He had really given He Zhao a 10-question head start. How arrogant.
But He Zhao kept reading. Every solution was elegant, simple, and to the point.
He Zhao had seen âGod Xâ doing problem sets. His logical thought process couldnât be faked. His approach to answering, his habit of underlining the key points in a question⌠were all identical to what was on this mock paper in front of him.
He Zhao finished checking the answers. He still wasnât sure if he could believe it, but the facts were right there in front of him.
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âOnly now did Xie Yu notice something uncontrollably bubbling forth in his mind. He couldnât name it. Aside from shock, the most he could say about it wasâalthough he thought the person in front of him was an idiot, it turned out he himself was an even bigger idiot.
He Zhao opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Xie Yu folded up his sleeves and said, âIâm not sure what to say about this, but letâs go a few rounds.â
He Zhao said, âLetâs not. Violence doesnât solve anything. Letâs sit down and calmlyâŚâ
Xie Yu was already in motion before the words âtalk it outâ left He Zhaoâs mouth.
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He Zhao pushed himself off the stairs with one hand and backed away to the side, but before he could find his footing a punch came flying his way.
A merciless punch, trailing wind.
The stairwell was cramped and neither of them could move freely. Although neither of them were fighting their best, they werenât playing around, either. Especially Xie Yu, the little hooligan of Black Water Street who never bothered with bullshit talk when he could fight instead, and who had grown up pinning everyone with a problem he couldnât solve to the ground.
While taking the beating, He Zhao thought, My boyfriend is really damn cute when he skips the talk and goes straight for the fight.
Xie Yu started off brutally attacking, then slowly let up. He Zhao, obliging, pulled Xie Yu into his arms. He trapped his disobedient little friend, then kissed him.
Xie Yu was self-righteous and very haughty, but his lips were very soft.
Xie Yuâs back was to the wall, the loose hood of his jacket covering his forehead and blocking his vision. The strongest sensation he felt was the hand at his waist and how He Zhao was plundering his lips and teeth, willful, harsh, and invasive.
The stairwell was very narrow.
Several floors below, people were coming and going, and the sound of their footsteps echoed up from below through the winding corridor.
âI donât know what to say either.â
He Zhao hadnât completely let go of him, and now his lips moved slightly, brushing against Xie Yuâs own. When he spoke, he lifted his hand to pull down the hood on Xie Yuâs head. âCome on. Let me kiss you for another twenty minutes then.â
âGet lost.â
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After this tussle, the feelings he had not been able to contain since meeting He Zhao at the Century City entrance, and again when he saw He Zhaoâs near-perfect-score mock paper, now finally subsided.
They sat side by side on the steps, gathering their own thoughts.
Xie Yu rubbed at the corner of his mouth with one finger; he hurt from being kissed. After steadying himself, he asked, âDo you have a cigarette?â
âLittle kids shouldnât smoke.â He Zhao pulled out a lollipop from his pocket that was wrapped in distracting pink packaging. He held on to the stick and asked, ââŚCompromise?â
Xie Yu took it and unwrapped the paper.
âWhat on earth are you doing?â Halfway through unwrapping, Xie Yu thought again about the study guide he had spent so much time putting together. âDo you know how much I goddamn⌠to put together thatâŚâ
He Zhao cut him off. âSecond-to-last place in the year. What on earth are you doing?â
After mentioning the two study guide emails, Xie Yu stopped himself. Then he thought about the Complete Guide to the College Exams that had mysteriously appeared on his desk. Something didnât seem right. He was onto something.
âYou bought the books?â
He Zhao, mulling over the words âput together,â also remembered something. âYou sent the email?â
ââŚâŚâ
Xie Yu said nothing and crumpled the candy wrapper in his palm.
Fuck. What the hell is all of this?
After going in a big circle, it turned out they both had worried over nothing.
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He Zhao leaned back on his hands, the corner of the step digging into his hand, and he suddenly wanted to laugh. âI thought⌠itâs because Wan Da and the others made it sound like it was really true.â
Xie Yu said, âTrue, my ass. They went so far off track and you still believed them?â
The footsteps several floors below, which had gone on for a while, now finally stopped.
The stairwell felt a little empty.
He Zhao hid his smile. He looked downward from where he sat on the stairs and was silent for a while before saying, âDo you remember, the last time when we went to Dian Ji to eat and we ran into someone called Ji-ge?â
Xie Yu, chewing the sweet, mumbled âMmâ with his mouth full.
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He Zhao had thought that matter would stay locked up in his heart and there would never come a day where he volunteered that story.
He had locked it up so tightly it lost its shape.
It stuck in his chest. Couldnât go up and couldnât go down.
It had already been a few years and many of the details had faded from He Zhaoâs memory with time. But every time he thought he had forgotten it, on some night of some day, he would wake up in a cold sweat.
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He finished telling the story all at once and didnât dare look at Xie Yuâs face.
Would his little friend look down on him for it? Would he be disappointed in him? Would heâŚ
He Zhao kept thinking and didnât notice that he was pushing down harder and harder against the step, the hard edge leaving a deep impression in his hand.
Xie Yu didnât say, âItâs nothing, and youâre not to blame,â but he also didnât say, âYou were wrong.â He didnât blame, but he didnât comfort, either.
He Zhao was getting more and more uncertain, but then Xie Yu took hold of the narrow plastic stick and pulled the lollipop from his mouth. Then he put it to He Zhaoâs lips.